Now What vs. Enjoying the Moment

Again... another attempt to sort out those anxious feelings...

Its funny how one day I can be peachy keen and then the next I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m learning how to appreciate those peachy keen days instead of anticipating the bad ones. When I get anxious my mind wanders and I’m flooded with guilt. I feel guilty about not exercising or eating healthy. I feel bad b/c interest has accrued on my credit card. I feel like a failure for not being able to meet the needs of all my students. Yadda Yadda Yadda… What I have to realize is that I am one person. I will exercise and eat healthy when I am ready. I pay my bills. I have a passion for teaching and with that passion I can do great things.

My friend Maggie moved back to West Virginia. While I am soooo happy for her, I still feel this deep sense of loss over the fact that she isn’t right around the corner. I fear we will lose that sisterly bond we have. What I have to realize is I can’t control this loss. My real sister moved hundreds of miles away 5 years ago and I’m closer to her now than I was when we lived in the same house.

Its taken several years for me to feel complete. I have a cute house on a beautiful piece of property. I have a wonderful job where when I’m not anxious, I can have so much fun. Its just that I can’t help but wonder, “now what?” Instead I need to enjoy what I have right now in the moment. Well, I’ve got to go eat dinner. Bye!