The Face of An Angel

Is this the face of an angel or what? I can't believe Thomas will be one on Wednesday. It seems like it was just last week that I drove through a tornado(ok, not through it, I stopped off at a Cracker Barrel to wait for it to pass!) just to meet him for the first time. I couldn't be there for his birth but I got there shortly thereafter. I still tear up thinking about that day. He is the most amazing kid ever. You know my issues with men, so I used to worry that I wouldn't be the cool aunt, but I think I'm going to be ok. I'll also be the aunt that cries whenever he has his "first" anything. I'll be the obnoxious aunt who makes sure he gets only the best teachers when he starts school. I'll probably be the aunt who gets kicked off the baseball field for hitting the ref when he makes a wrong call on Thomas. No, that'll be my mom. I'll be asked to leave for cussing at the ref. Poor Kid!

Anyway, he's amazing. He gets cuter everyday and he "talks" all the time. He says about 12-15 words that we can actually understand. The rest is jiberish and lots of hand gestures. I think Molly used to do that too, come to think of it. The best word he says is "J." Sometimes, he'll throw in the "aunt," but mostly it's "J." It melts my heart!

Upping my Ante!

After watching last week's Biggest Loser I got a wild hair to up the ante on my weightloss program. Fortunately, I didn't watch last Tuesday's episode until last night so today is my first day upping my ante. (I know, grammatically incorrect, my freshman English teacher would have a fit... that's ok, she stifled my creativity.) Anyway, it was a gorgeous day so I decided to drive down to Shell Point and do my walk/jog intervals on the beach. I'm doing this program called 'Couch to 5K' and by the time I'm finished I should be able to jog for 3 miles without dying. We'll see. Right now I'm on week 4 and it feels rough. So today was my off day so I decided to do an hour of cardio by completing weeks 1 and 2 on the beach. I felt so good when I was done but boy does my body ache! I'm going to go soak in some epsom salts once the water cools down a bit. Without trying to sound too granola-ish, it was really a beautiful experience, though. Even with my headphones on I could hear the birds and the waves crashing. I did NOT however hear the white American Bulldog who came pouncing up on me and slobbered all over my exercise pants. Fortunately, I have experience with American Bulldogs, thanks to my nephew Max, (Maggie's dog), so I knew to stay calm and he wouldn't hurt me. His owner came ran over shortly and leashed him. While I love dogs, I don't feel all that comfortable around strange dogs.

Anyway, I feel ambitious so I'm thinking about doing my week 4 run tomorrow morning around 7am at the beach again. It would be cool to see the sunrise. We shall see. This princess is NOT a morning person. Gotta go, my water is ready!

The House on Marie Circle

As a kid, I hated our house on Marie Circle. I hated the yard because it was soooo big and I basically hated Crawfordville, because I felt like my family was ripped apart to come live here.

Now, when I go to visit my mom I think about the good memories that made in that house on Marie Circle. I'm thankful my mom didn't sell the house when she had the chance. That house is a symbol of my mother's determination and strength. She bought that house all by herself and made it a wonderful home for us to live in. As for the yard, its only a half an acre but if you look around now a days, a half an acre in a new subdivision is unheard of. I also appreciate the fact that my step-dad is the one who cuts the grass, trims the hedges and fixes things. As for Crawfordville, I'm thankful to live in a community where people know who I am. I love the variety of trees, living less than 45 minutes from the beach, and this crazy small town life.

I was thinking about life today and how mine has turned out while helping my mom with some yard work. Yes, Janie Tucker was doing yard work. I swear it must be the diet and B12 shots because otherwise, there is NO WAY I could have been raking and using a pitchfork to dump leaves into a wheelbarrow! It was definitely my good deed for the year!

Seriously, my mom is having a fence added to one side of the house for Thomas. She has plans to add a swing set, play house, and some other things that no little boy should live without. So she says...lol! So, I figured I should help. Anyway, during trip number 3 to the backyard burnpile, I looked around at the backyard. I had a flashback to when my dad moved to Crawfordville to live with us. He was in the backyard telling us about his dream to one day own a shop back there. The memory was bittersweet because while I'm sad that my daddy never had his own shop in the backyard, I'm happy that my step-dad does. I love going back there and smelling the mixture of grease and oil. I know, call me weird but it reminds me of my daddy. He was a mechanic.

All in all, I have to say, on a day as beautiful as this, I am happy to say I was out doing yardwork in Marie Circle.

Momma Knows...

You'd think after almost 32 years, I'd learn that I can't get anything past my mother. One summer years ago, my sister and I put our money together to pay the neighbor kid to come cut our grass so we wouldn't have to do it. Of course we asked Mom how she liked it and she bragged on us. Wouldn't you know it, a week later the damn neighbor kid stops by and asks my mom if she'd like him to cut her grass again!

One Christmas, my mom picked out this hideous Christmas tree because she felt sorry for it and put it in the living room. While she was at work, Molly and I drug the tree "way out" into the backyard and bought another one from the Christmas tree farm. How she didn't notice what we had done, I'm not sure but she didn't. A few months passed and Mom and I went "way out" into the backyard to look for our cat that had gone missing. Oops, I forgot the tree was still there!

So, here it is, 15 or so years later, and we're still trying to pull one over on my mom. She's been talking about how she wants her house cleaned really good. She's not a dirty person but she has ALOT of stuff in her tiny 3 bedroom 1 bath house. The flooring is the original linoleum that was put in the house back in 1988. There is dust everywhere. The baseboards haven't been cleaned in like forever. My step-dad works on cars on the side, so the bathroom can get sort of dark from the grease and grime. You get the picture. So, my sister knows of this lady who has just started her own cleaning business. We ask Mom if she'd like to have her house professionally cleaned and we offer to pay for it. She of course says, "no, I need to get rid of some stuff and clean the house first before anybody can come clean for me." So we passify her by saying, "ok then, we'll clean for you on Monday before the girl comes to see what she's up against." Molly and I both knew full well we WEREN'T going to clean on Monday. Our plan was to call the girl and ask her to come over and clean. She came over and she "cleaned." I told her explicitly what should be done and explained that some areas would need some potent cleaners sprayed first. My first mistake was that I didn't stick around to see what was done. Molly did. When I asked Molly how the girl did she said she did a good job. The bathtub looked 100% better. Unlike when I was a kid, I didn't call my mom to ask her if she liked the job "we" did cleaning her house AND she never called us to thank us. Today I went over to help her with some yard work and decided to see for myself what was done. It was evident the lady dusted some parts and she did clean the bathroom but besides that I'm not sure what else she did because everything else was still in need of some major cleaning. I was pissed. AT first, I was irritated with Molly for not checking the lady's work, then I had a flashback from the days when Molly and I still lived at home. My sister's version of clean involved throwing everything under the bed including her dirty underwear and dishes she was too lazy to put in the kitchen. So the more I thought about it, I was agitated with myself for not sticking around to make sure the lady did what we had agreed upon. When my sister showed up at my mom's I showed her the house and we decided we had to tell Mom the truth being as how she assumed we were the ones who "cleaned" her house. She just laughed. We all agreed that we weren't ready to hire another cleaning lady.

I think we've learned our lesson this time! I also realized just how close my sister and I are. We've have different views on things but all in all, I'm so thankful to call her my sister. We make a good team but we will NEVER be able to outwit our mom!

Letter to the Big House

I got an e-mail from the National Board website asking people to write their district's representative regarding the possible cut in funds. I've included mine in this blog. I took out my personal info incase some random person does a search and finds my blog. I don't want anybody to come after me.

February 19, 2008
Dear Representative Coley,
My name is ... I have 10 years of experience teaching children with special needs. Currently, I am teaching preschoolers with severe language impairments at ... I am also a National Board Certified teacher who appreciates your steadfast support of teaching excellence in Florida—and specifically, for past support of the Dale Hickam Excellent Teacher Program.
As I’m sure you are already aware that the Dale Hickam Excellent Teacher Program is the only successful state-funded pay supplement based on excellence in the classroom. The budget for the program has already been cut by $14M during the special session, which could result in reducing the mentoring bonuses that teachers earned by performing extra work – after they have already done the work.
My concern is that the Dale Hickam program could be again in harm’s way because of the state’s need for additional budget cuts in the current fiscal year. Further reducing the mentoring bonus provided by the Dale Hickam program could compromise the future of the entire program. Many teachers would likely be wary of future mentoring commitments if there is no reasonable assurance they will receive the promised compensation; and many teachers might not be paid for mentoring work that they have already done – which would be unfair.
I understand Florida is facing severe economic and budget challenges; however, teachers and the students they serve are critical to the future of our state and our nation. Speaker of the House Andrew Romanoff said it best when he stated, “Its cheaper to build a child than it is to repair an adult.” Thus, funding directed into classrooms and targeted to quality education should only be reduced as a last resort.
Again, I appreciate your past support—and for doing the right thing now on behalf of education excellence in your state. If I can ever be of assistance to you, feel free to contact me at ..., or e-mail me at ...
Sincerely,
Me


The phone numbers and email addresses of the members of Florida’s House Schools and Learning Council are listed below. To send an e-mail, simply:

Click on the e-mail link ("Contact via Web Form") that will connect you with your elected official (see below).
Prepare your personal e-mail using the above information to craft your own message.
Send it (and don’t forget to include your name and other information so your elected official will know you are a constituent).


Representative Joe Hill Pickens
District office: 3841 Reid St. Ste. 5, Palatka, FL 32177-2509
Ph: 386.312.2272
County: Bradford, Clay, Lake, Marion, Putnam, Volusia
E-mail: Contact via Web Form

Representative Trey Traviesa
District Office: 410 S. Ware Blvd. Ste. 105, Tampa, FL 33619
Ph: 813.740.7655
County: Hillsborough
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form.

Representative Dorothy Bendross-Mindingall
District Office: 1521 NW 54th Street, Ste. 1521 E. Miami, FL 33142
Ph: 305.694.2958
County: Miami-Dade
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form.

Representative Thad Altman
District Office: 7025 N. Wickham Road, Ste. 108, Melbourne, FL 32940
Ph: 321.752.3138
County: Brevard
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form.

Representative Marti Coley
District Office: 3094 Indian Cr. Bldg. L, Rm 108, Marianna, FL 32446
Ph: 850.718.0047
County: Bay, Calhoun, Gadsden, Jackson, Leon, Liberty, Okaloosa, Wakulla, Walton
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form.

Representative Anitere Flores
District Office: 1405 SW 107th Avenue, Ste. 205-C, Miami, FL 33174
Ph: 305.227.7626
County: Miami-Dade
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form.

Representative Clay Ford
District Office: 1804 W. Garden Street, Pensacola, FL 32501
Ph: 850.595.5500
County: Escambia, Santa Rosa
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form

Representative Bill Heller
District Office: 400 4th Street N, St. Petersburg, FL 33701
Ph: 727.552.2573
County: Pinellas
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form.

Representative Martin Kiar
District Office: 6600 University Dr. Parkland, FL 33067
Ph: 954.346.2813
County: Broward
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form

Representative John Legg
District Office: 10014 Grove Dr. Ste. B, Port Richey, FL 34668
Ph: 727.869.8600
County: Pasco
Email: Contact Via Web Form.

Representative Janet Long
District Office: 5511 Park St. N, Ste. 101, Colonial Bank Bldg. St. Petersburg, FL 33709
Ph: 727.545.6421
County: Pinellas
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form.

Representative Charles McBurney
District Office: 76 S. Laura Street, Ste. 200, Jacksonville, FL 32202
Ph: 904.359.6090
County: Duval
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form

Representative Seth McKeel
District Office: 250 E. Highland Dr. Lakeland, FL 33813
Ph: 863.647.4896
County: Polk, Hillsborough
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form.

Representative Bill Proctor
District Office: 900 SR 16, Ste. 2, St. Augustine, FL 32084
Ph: 904.823.2550
County: Clay, St. Johns, Flagler
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form.

Representative David Simmons
District Office: 393 Center Pointe Cir. Ste. 1427, Altamonte Springs, FL 32701
Ph: 407.262.7520
County: Orange, Seminole
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form.

Representative Shelley Vana
District Office: 1280 N. Congress Ave. Ste. 100, West Palm Beach, FL 33409
Ph: 561.640.6120
County: Palm Beach
E-mail: Contact Via Web Form.

Amendment One Sucks!

So, I've been hearing rumors all along about the possibility of the state doing away with the National Board incentives but today I found out that there's a possibility that all the mentoring we've been doing will not be compensated for either. I am pissed! I understand its a bonus and as a veteran teacher its my duty to be helping new teachers. However, there are two ways to mentor in our district. One is via the NBPTS program (that's me) which means I volunteer my 90 hours through out the school year and at the end of June I get a bonus. The other way is directly through the district which means those teachers get their money through out the year in their paychecks. Again, I'm not trying to sound greedy but I put a heck of alot of time into my job. Its bad enough that as a pre-k ESE teacher I'm not even recognized as a real teacher, but now the state wants to take away the tiny bonus I earn. You know the other pathetic thing about my job... I have 10 years experience teaching WITH a master's degree and without my National Board Incentive I make about $38,000 BEFORE the government takes my taxes!

While I'm on my soapbox, let me tell you where Florida is headed since this fu*&ing amendment has passed... have you ever been to New Orleans? There's potholes everywhere, people pay to have their kids in private schools because their schools suck to high heaven AND the poverty level is rediculous! Way to go folks... that's going to be us real soon! I guess I'd better apply for a second job!

22 down, Alot More to Go!!!

Ok, so you can't tell it too much in this picture but I really have lost weight. I bought this shirt two Christmas' ago but couldn't really wear it out in public due to my fat rolls showing. Now I can! The jeans I have on are my Seven Jeans. NO, not the size 7, its a brand. They are a size 16. I haven't worn these in quite some time either!

I just love having energy. It would be really cool to make it to my goal weight!

The Value of a Picture

I'm addicted to digital scrapbooking these days. While I was looking through some old pictures I came across this picture of my parents. It was taken about a week before my dad was killed in a car accident in December of 1988. Who would of thought this would be their last picture taken together? We have tons of copies of this one photo. My mom even used it to have an oil painting done of our family portrait years ago. My point to this entry? Take lots of pictures. Keep them close to your heart for memories later. I can't wait for Thomas to be old enough to tell him about his Poppa that he's named after. Actually, I can wait...

Girl's Night Out!

Make a slideshow - it's easy!

My Friend, Jessica

Jes and I have been friends since the 10th grade. We've been through alot together. Here is a montage I made.

Make a scrapbook - it's easy!

My Name is Janie and I Am OLD!!!!

Jes and I met another one of our high school friends for dinner. After dinner we went "out." While I had a great time with both Jes and Julie, I have come to realize that I am too old for clubs.

For one, I didn't drink enough to really get a buzz. So I was able to notice the numerous drunk people surrounding me. I felt bad for some of them, stumbling around, and/or sucking face with strangers. Please don't think I'm being self-righteous. I'm not. Believe me, I've been that person stumbling around... among other things. All I could think about was that long-ass drive back to Wakulla and how unsafe it would be for me to drive drunk.

Second, we just sort of stood around. I'm not good at making small talk with people, especially guys.

Third, all I could think about was the smoke smell that lingered in my hair and how I had clean sheets waiting for me at home which meant I HAD to wash my hair before going to bed.

I'm not complaining about the evening. I had a terrific time with two wonderful friends. It was fun to see them having such a great time. I enjoyed it because they seemed to have had a good time. But, I also realized that "going out" is NOT the thing for me!

I Hate to Admit It...

but I think I actually like exercising! Is that sick or what? I've been really frustrated and overwhelmed at work lately. Nothing in particular. I just take on too many things. Its my fault.

Then of course there's this lovely holiday we call 'Valentine's Day.' Just another reminder that I'm almost 32 and still single. I can hear my clock ticking loudly.

Of course, my alter-ego tells me to be thankful for what all I do have. Believe me, I am. I just get frustrated sometimes. I'm not depressed and I know its just a phase. It'll all pass. It always does.

So my point... My friend Maggie used to swear to me that exercising really relieves stress. I really found that hard to believe that something that made you sweaty and your bones ache was a stress-reliever. Yep, she's right! I've been alternating days of jogging/fast walking with days of using the elliptical. My body craves it now. I really noticed today when I came home and was in a fowl mood just how great I felt after working really hard on the elliptical. I may have to join a gym again. Hrmmm... let me pay off the diet plan first!

Tomorrow's the big day. Last week I was down 19 pounds. Not too shabby being as how I started this diet December 31st. My overall goal is 50. I'm usually pretty good at losing the first 20. Then my mind takes over and I stop losing. This time, my mind is cheering me on. I really don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. So, I'm praying that my body will team up with my mind and I'll keep going.

Well, my bubble bath awaits!

Valentine's Day

I admit it... I hate Valentine's Day and what all it represents. Maybe if I were in love I'd think differently but right now I'm not.

It pisses me off that a normal spring bouquet costs me almost $10 on Valentine's Day when on any other day I'd pay $3.99.

There's the sheer exhaustion of what to get people you're close to. For instance, do you buy your mother flowers on V-Day? Or, should I leave that up to my step-dad?

I also hate that my students get hiped up on candy. Its just not a good combination: Already hyperactive preschool children combined with excessive amounts of sugar colored with red dye!

You know the last reason I hate Valentine's Day? Call me petty but I'll remember this forever and a day... 15 years ago, my first "true love" dumped me on Valentine's Day using a Valentine's Day card to do it! If you look up the word "pathetic" in the dictionary, you will see my name beside it!

I know, I know, I'm being negative. Go ahead, take away my Miss Congeniality trophy.

Please Pray For Dylan!

My co-teacher's son, Dylan (age 5) who is a miniature hoodini (sp?) was riding around on his four wheeler yesterday and flipped it. Right now it looks the most damage is a broken arm and some stitches. Thank the Lord, no head injuries. I spoke with Amber last night and she said his arm is broken pretty bad and it looks like its going to take two surgeries and week's stay in the hospital. Yikes! What do you buy for a kid with a broken arm to play with in the hospital? Hrmmm?

On a selfish note, please pray for me this week. As I've mentioned before my class isn't your typical run of the mill pre-k class. Put it this way, we only have 8 kiddos but we REQUIRE a teacher, a CDA, a parapro, a volunteer grama AND a nurse with us at all times! Not to mention 4 therapists who come in and out of the room. We don't work well with substitute teachers so its easier to just not have one.

Since Family Fun Day was Friday night, we left our room in shambles thinking we'd get to it Monday morning. We also have a meeting scheduled for Monday morning that I'm NOT looking forward to. So, after my run, I am going back to school to see what I can do to put some sort of normalcy back into the room with the yellow door. Yikes again!

We Broke $10,000!

I am so excited I can hardly stand myself! Tonight was our Family Fun Day. We are in phase one of a three part series to rebuild our playground so all proceeds from the Fun Day went to phase one. None of this would have been possible without the help of everyone involved. Our community was so generous.

I will close now. I am TIRED! My feet have exceeded their maximum weight capacity for the day and I need to rest.

My Car

I was driving home tonight and looked back for something. Not safe, I know but nevertheless, I did. Anyway, I had this great feeling of pride about my car. Its 10 years old and I pray to God that I don't jinx the quality of it after writing this entry. My car and I have had this sort of love-hate relationship over the years. In the end, when its all said and done, my car has stood by me. (I know I'm a sap, but what's new?)

After graduating from college, I bought a brand new Honda Civic. My payments were just a little over $300/month and because I was a recent college graduate I got a whopping 3.9% apr. Then, before I knew it, Honda came out with the CRV. I just had to have it. I was making like $25,000/ year, so money was no object, lol! So, less than a year after my Civic purchase, I called the dealer who sold it to me and told him to be looking out for one of those CRVs. Of course, he found one! For some reason back then they were hard to come by, so I ended up with a slightly used one with about 11,000 miles on it. I didn't care. It had all the bells and whistles, keyless entry, power windows, cruise control. That was July of 1999. My payments were like $429/month,which wasn't a big deal because I was living at home. Reality hit me in 2001, when I was living on my own with a car payment, rent, student loans and of course my lovely credit card payments. I tried to trade the car in for a cheaper one a couple of times but I was always upside down on my payments. Of course, its paid off now, but it was a LONG journey getting there.

Anyway, 185,000 miles later, my car is going strong. The poor things been through hell. I've hit a couple of drive-thru posts, mailboxes and trees. I've driven it as far west as Louisiana and as far north as West Virginia. My friends tease me about how it drives like a tank. You can feel EVERY bump and turn I make in it. My engine light has been on for 3 years, My brother-in-law replaced the motor in the driver side window panel. My step-dad has given it 2 or 3 tune-ups, not to mention how many brake pads he's replaced. I haven't used my keyless entry in like 2 years, b/c the key pad was stolen at a gym in West Palm.

All in all, I have to say, I LOVE my car. I love that my car insurance isn't sky high. I love that my car is paid for. I love the fact that if my nephew drops cookie crumbs in the seats its not going to harm it.

I was thinking the other day that when my car takes its last drive, I'm going to be devastated. I may have to return to therapy. I have so many great memories tied to my car. So, there you have it... Ode to my Honda CRV.

Sonny's and Vapor Rub

Ok, so I promised myself that I wouldn't tell so many stories about puking and snot but I have to tell this one. Yesterday, my sister and I went to Sonny's for lunch. About an hour before we left, I took one Sudafed in hopes to stop the sinus pressure from sucking out my brain. I hate taking two. It raises my blood pressure and my face gets all red. The one worked pretty well, until... not thinking about how I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, I took my diet pills. Sonny's is pretty quick but for some reason today they weren't. So, instead of going 4 1/2 hours without a meal, I went 5 1/2 hours. I know, for normal people this isn't a big deal but once you take the diet pills you have to eat within one hour or bad things happen. All of a sudden my face got red, the room started spinning, and I just felt sick. Now, I deal with nausea all the time, but this was bad! So, I run to the bathroom and attempt to be discreet about puking when this lady knocks on the bathroom door and goes, "excuse me honey, do you do that at night too?" I answered, "yes. why?" Her reply, "well, if you'd rub Vick's Vapor Rub on your feet at night, that would stop." I politely thanked her and went back to puking. I felt stupid answering her but I figured if I did, I could puke in peace. Its not my favorite thing to do! Some people are so weird! If I hear someone puking, I try really hard to hurry up and get out of the bathroom. I sure don't say anything!

Happy Birthday, Thomas Ralph Clore!

I can hardly believe that this time last year we were anxiously awaiting the arrival of my nephew Thomas. Happy Birthday Baby! February 27, 2007

Make a scrapbook - it's easy!

Letters to Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fqtbMHfpXY

So I'm not exactly sure how to post youtube videos but I did discover that if you click on the title of my entry, it will take you to the youtube video I wanted to post. Call me a technophobe! Anyway, I love this song so I thought I'd add it to my blog.

Couch to 5k

My friend Jes gave me a link to this website where you can download a program on your mp3 player called, 'Couch to 5K.' Its cool, because there's a guy on the program who guides you along both verbally and with music. I've done it before on a treadmill but I had to watch a clock b/c I didn't have the mp3 program. And, that was like forever ago. So, today I did the program using my mp3 outside. At one point, I thought I was going to die. I forgot to bring kleenex. Yes, me the snot queen forgot kleenex. I also forgot to wear my seabands. What the hell was I thinking? The Lord took pity on me and waited until the very end for me to puke. My poor neighbors. I tried to be discreet but you know its hard for a nearly 200 pound woman to be discrete as she's puking. Its exciting to type "nearly 200 pound" though. Because for the first time in about 5 years, I am under the 200 mark! I weighed in on Thursday and am down to 193. Yay! The crazy thing is, for the most part my pants still fit. I seem to have lost weight everywhere but my stomach! I'm hoping it too will go down. My goal is 160. I haven't been 160 since the phen-phen days, so we shall see.

Things to Do

I love my new house but sometimes it's hard work to keep up a house by yourself. I think I'm going to make a list for my future husband of things I'd like for him to do. I'm not stupid, I realize it may not get done but I figure if I have it on paper ahead of time, I'll have more ammunition when threatening a divorce, lol!

1. Change the air filters. My new house is "energy efficient." Whatever that means. Its a pain and expensive! I have an air filter in each bedroom (3) and one big one in the hallway. I thought I'd be smart and get the air filters that supposed lasted for 3 months. They don't last for 3 months! Nope, monthly, I climb up onto a step ladder, trying NOT to fall off from the dizziness inside my head, finagel the air vent open while trying hard Not to use 3 and 4 letter words, and sneeze as the air filter falls onto my head. Then I have to somehow put the other air filter up before my arms go numb and I fall off of the step ladder. Stop laughing. I realize its a 3 foot step ladder, but I'm almost a 200 lb woman. You do the math. Short fall, heavy splat!

2. Get the debris off the eaves of my roof so that the roof doesn't rot. I bought a six foot ladder to try and do this myself but couldn't make it to the top. I even tried hoisting my leaf blower up there and that caused a big mess!

3. Check the fluid in my car so my step-dad doesn't have to. He is a real trooper about it but he needs a break. Besides that, the other day I had to add antifreeze to my car when he wasn't around and it took me 5 minutes to figure out how to lift the hood! My poor neighbors heard a few choice words.

For now, I think that' s about it.

Carded for Sudafed

Ok, so the next time I get a burst of energy to vacuum my car or blow off my driveway, I'm going to take some serious drugs before venturing outside. I've developed a nasty cold thanks to my Friday night endeavors. Its really kicking my butt. I haven't exercised since Sunday. This is rediculous. If you see a fat chick with auburn color hair on the side of road puking, honk. Its just me throwing up phlem from getting overheated. Gross, I know but what can I say?

HOw funny is this? Did you know they card you for purchasing Sudafed? Yep, not sure why. I personally hate the stuff but it was either take the Sudafed or watch as my brain exploded out my ears. Yikes, I still need to change my air filters. That should be fun. I better go do that before the dizziness comes back!

Autism Bites!

So my friend Nicole sent me this link to a website called autism bites. I added it to my links. She has a son with autism. He is the most adorable little guy who is a real charmer and extremely bright. He has some great teachers, lol! Just kidding. Anyway, about the link, Nicole says that the couple that own the website have six kids with autism!!! Yowzers! They sell t-shirts with funny sayings on them to raise money for autism awareness. Some parents with children who have autism may get upset about them but Nicole thought they were hillarious. So, I figured it was ok to post about it. She has a great sense of humor about Kanan and I am amazed at her strength and determination with him. I'm going to go look at the website now. Maybe they have a t-shirt for crazy ESE teachers, lol! TAke Care!

ESE Teacher Confession Time

If you look back on things, its hard to believe I am an ESE teacher. Especially one for children with major special needs (I hope thats PC, Trish?) When I was in high school my mom made us volunteer at our local nursing home by playing BINGO with the elderly. I know they're not considered ESE, but they were old, some had speech problems, and well, to be honest, they made me uncomfortable. I hated every minute of it. I knew not to get close to any of them because next week they just might not be there.

Then there were the "special kids" at school. You know, the ones they kept out in the "green house." You knew to stay away from them for fear of the unknown. Which was part of the reason I even got into ESE was because I wanted to learn more about the unknown.

Next came college. While I was ready to overcome my fears, I wasn't quite ready to accept all people with varying abilities. Spring Semester of my Sophomore year, I took a class on mental handicaps. I think the appropriate term is developmental disabilities now, but MH was the term 12 years ago. As apart of that class you had to befriend a person with MH and spend 20 hours with them. I was paired with a lady in her 60's. Talk about uncomfortable. I'm ashamed to say it was awkward.

After graduation, I started teaching kiddos with learning disabilities and/or emotional disturbances grades 1st -3rd. I was cool with that. No big deal. I just knew I had finally become an ESE teacher. Whew, hoo! Then someone from the district asked me to take on coordinating our district's Special Olympics. YIKES! Begrudgingly, I did it. But like high school, I was so uncomfortable. We even went to state and I was a nervous wreck. Needless to say, Ashley, our Child Find specialist took it over the following year and had made amazing gains ever since.

Ok, so before people start making voo-doo dolls of me or blasting me as a hippocrite, let me get to the point of this entry. Its funny how one's peceptions changes over time. Two summers ago I had the chance to teach summer school to some high school students with developmental disabilities. WE had a blast. The girls told me about their crushes, the guys talked about cars, hunting and job related stuff. These kids are no different from typical peers. Some just need more guiding than others.

I don't know if my attitude has changed with maturity or what, but I love teaching these types of kids. They make me appreciate small things in life. They help me see the good in people. They make me want to be a better person overall. People will say things like, "Oh you must be a special person to do what you do." Nope, I'm no different than anybody else. Its the kids that make me feel special. Its the kids that have softened my heart and opened my mind.

I've had people pointblank ask me how God could be so cruel to let a child be born into this world like this. Or, what will be the quality of life for these types of kids? Well, as for the God question, I don't question Him. He has his reasons and when He's ready, He'll let us all know why He does what he does. As for the second question, related to quality of life. What's the quality of life for a typical kid? Its what you make of it. As teachers, parents, and caregivers, its up to us to help them find their way and make the most of it. We sure can't feel sorry for them either. They have enough obstacles to overcome as it is!

Ashley brought some of the guys over the other day to see me at Pre-k. It was touching that they remembered me. I think some point down the road, I'd like to teach high school again, but this time, teach kiddos with developmental disabilities. I also feel the need to get more involved with Special Olympics again. I need to make up for lost time. I'm closing this entry with a quote from Special Olympics. I'd like to have this on a plaque. Its funny b/c the whole time I was going through the Teacher of the Year process, this is what came to mind:

"Let me win but if I can not win let me be brave in the attempt."

New Links

So, I've added some new links to my blog page. Many things go through my mind as I think about each one. One is about my friend, Trish who after a normal pregnancy, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl with special needs. The other one I just added is about a couple in NJ who after IV found out they were pregnant with triplets. Unfortunately, one of the babies died at around age 4 months. I found their blog while looking at Trish's blog. I read hers daily. I guess my point for posting about each of them is that they really make me think about life and appreciate the little things. I saw a sign the other day that said, "Appreciate the little things in life, because tomorrow they become big things!" Its so true.

I haven't read the one about the short bus just yet, but I thought I'd post that one too.

So, if you ever have time and want to read some quality stuff, they both have great entries. Have kleenex handy, though. Its way better than Lifetime!

14 Down, 35 To Go!

I don't have any pictures yet to show you the transformation but I'm lovin' this diet I'm on. I started it on December 31st and as of January 24th I have lost a total of 14 pounds! Its funny how me the sugar diva isn't craving sweets. I even like to exercise. I think its the B12 shots giving me more energy. I'm actually able to keep up with my new little friend at school, who was born addicted to drugs. Any ideas on ways to help him let me know!

Things To Do On a Friday Night When...

you're single, broke and in a funk: (before I get into that, as my friend Wendi would say, "let me set the stage.") So I had my interview for the District Teacher of the Year on Wednesday. My mom bought me a very nice suit and let's just say I looked fantastic. I went in with a big smile and felt like I really charmed them. I wasn't even nervous. I'm thankful for everyone who prayed for me and gave me support. I didn't win, but I sort of figured I wouldn't b/c I teach Pre-K ESE. Its sad though b/c for a while I actually thought I could win. I'm not trying to brag on myself, but I work with some fantastic people who make it easy to do my job and my administrators make me feel like I'm important. I love what I do so I'm enthusiastic about it. My poor principal told me that the she was really proud of me and that the assistant superintendant was impressed with my interview skills. BUT... she said its the Pre-k thing that's against me in competitions like that. I was really upset at first but when I think about moving to a different school just to be recognized for an award I laugh.

I need to be at Pre-K. It's my passion for now. I know that God sent me there for a reason and one day I'll figure out what that reason is. Right now I think its for Playground rennovations. the fire marshall came in and told us that our playground is a fire hazard and all of it needed to be removed! I could have saved him his time and told him that over the phone! So, I'm developing a committee to devise a plan to rennovate the playground. We're unofficially in phase one by having our Family Fun Day. Monies earned from that will go towards providing some new equipment. Phase Two will be the trickiest b/c that's when I'm going to need the big bucks. Anybody with ideas on how I should go about this would be wonderful. I sort of have a plan but ideas are always appreciated!

Oh yeah, anybody interested in buying some "donation" tickets let me know. For some reason I can't call them, "raffle" tickets. We've got some cool prizes.

So, back to the title of my entry. Things to do... after getting the word that I didn't win, I was in a funky mood. One part of me wanted to lay on the couch, watch t.v. and eat ice cream.

Of course, I have this other part of me who when the going gets tough the going wants to go shopping. But being as how I don't get paid until January 31st. I opted against that part.

Fortunately, I have this alter ego who told the lazy part of me to shake it off and do something positive. First I took my dog for a long walk. Which was no easy task because we kept seeing stray dogs and Missy refused to walk without first trying to get in their territory. Then I cleaned. I mean I cleaned. I even used the leaf blower! My drive way is very small but I bet I blew that sucker off for at least 20 minutes! I got the shop vac down and vacuumed out my poor car.

By that time I was feeling much better and I received an e-mail from Sara's husband who reminded me of the reason I do my job. (Thanks Geoff!) Its not for the awards. Its for the kids. Which leads me back to setting the stage. I have a purpose and that's all that matters!

So, I'm fine now and I have alot of work to do. Take Care! J

Care-free and Fancy-Free

Is this the face of an angel or what? When I look at this picture I don't know whether to cry, smile or just stare. I'm not a mamma, but I couldn't be more proud if this I had birth this kid myself. I hope he's always this care-free and fancy-free!

I went back to work after Christmas break this Monday. Getting up early hit me like a ton of bricks. By Friday, I was somewhat back in the routine. It was funny, because I was sort of dreading going back. You know, my kiddos had been out of their school routine for 2 weeks. No telling how much gluten they were succombed to, lol! But it actually turned out to be a pretty cool week back. I got hugs from two of my boys and one gave me a big kiss on the cheek. Wasn't really expecting that! My friend who tantrums when asked to do something, just said "nope," instead of tantruming this week! I thought that was pretty amazing. My friend who screams to express his general wants and needs not only signed but attempted to verbalize some words. My buddy who falls on the ground to avoid walking, actually had some pep in his step. Nobody got bit or hit either! Wish us luck, we are getting a new addition to our classroom family. He was born addicted to crack. As I've said before, I don't know how parents with special needs kiddos do it. My hat goes off to them. Thank God I'm taking B12 and am on this diet. AS for the diet, I've lost 7 pounds total. Yay!

So, over the break I had to fill out this application for this project I'm doing. I wish I could have filled it out after this week. Before this week, I was sort of bummed about the progress my students were making and my teaching abilities in general. I also waited until the last minute to fill out the mile long application so it was rushed and my heart wasn't in it. Looking back, I can see just how much we really do affect these kiddos. While on paper, it may say, "make a snowman," there's so much more to what we're doing. Oh well, I'll just have to charm 'em in the interview part of the project. Gotta go clean. I'm having people over tonight.

Updates

So, I weighed in yesterday and lost a whopping 4 pounds! The doctor was shocked b/c he said my thyroid was out of whack and I need to up my synthroid dosage. Hrmmm, that could explain the sheer exhaustion and extreme sensitivity. So, its not all because I'm fat and hormonal (notice the air of sarcasm? I just love doctors!) He didn't say that, that's just what other doctors have told me before. The other strange thing was my triglycerite count was extremely high. For being a fat girl, I normally have normal cholesterol levels. So, I did some research and guess what? Your thyroid can affect your cholesterol levels! Go figure?

This diet works too. Today was the first day that I went out-out. I went to the movies and sat b/t two friends eating popcorn and didn't crave the first kernal. To top it off, we ate at my all-time favorite restaurant, Logans. The yeast rolls were right beside me and I didn't touch them! I even ordered grilled chicken, salad and veggies on a stick and only ate 3/4 of it. Lord, I pray this continues to work.

If you want a chance to clear your sinuses, go see "P.S. I Love You." Talk about a tear-jerker. It was funny with some great meaning behind it. It really makes you think.

Speaking of sinuses, most people who know me, know that I live life in a nauseated state most of the time b/c of my terrible post-nasal drip. Well, my hair stylist is pregnant and she had these things on her wrist called "SeaBands." So, I asked her about them. I bought a pair today. That's the best investment I've ever made. I'm scared to type about it for fear I'll jinx myself! Now if I could find something to stop the pnd I'd be in perfect shape!

Well, its late and I should be doing other things, like working on that project that's due Monday! Aaghhhh!!!!

Our Family Pictures

We had these pictures taken a couple of weeks ago. Molly coordinated the outfits and scheduled the appointment at Penneys. Its a Christmas miracle that we all made it on time and actually smiled for the camara. Well, most of us smiled, lol! We haven't professional shots done in several years.

New Year's Eve Party!

Who knew a New Year's Eve party could be this fun without the use of alcohol?

My stepdad went to a lot of work to set up a nice area in the backyard for New Years Eve. We grilled out, enjoyed fireworks, chasing Thomas and hanging out. I'm sad to say that I didn't make it to midnight. My sinuses were off the chain so after I left my parents I went home, took drugs to stop feeling nauseated, threw up the nausea drugs, brushed my teeth and went to bed. I have to say though, that I am feeling much better!

Happy New Year 2008!

So, I should be working on a project for school that's due January 7th. Instead, I'm procrastinating. I've been on MySpace, uploaded pics, watched t.v. and basically avoided work in general.

I don't have too many New Year's Resolutions this year. A big one of mine this year is to get out more. How am ever going to find Mr. Right if I'm always at home? Another, which seems to be one I've had for the past 20 or so years is to lose weight. Its not because I don't feel beautiful. I am beautiful. Its because I'm uncomfortable and tired all the time. I can't breathe when I bend down to tie my shoes and I need more energy to keep up with my little guys at work. Not to mention hanging out with my main squeeze (Thomas) who's been walking since he was 9 months old!

So, I've decided to go on this diet thats the new rave around the school district. Its called 'First Impressions.' You take diet pills and supplements, get weekly B12 shots, and eat basically a low-no carb diet. Its all under a doctor's supervision. I've been on the diet pills since Thursday and they really do work. I have to make myself eat. Those of you who know me, know that I obsess about eating. If I'm not eating, I'm thinking about what to eat next. I started the actual dieting yesterday. I don't even crave carbs! Is that crazy or what? I weigh in this Thursday. I'll keep you posted. Take Care! J

Merry Christmas 2007!

Santa and his Elves!

Thomas, Missy and ME!

A very sleepy Christmas bear.

Yummy ornament.

Hmm, these trees are just my size.

This Christmas was great. We had dinner together in my new house. I couldn't have asked for anything more. Its terrific that both Eric's family and ours get along so well. Thomas enjoyed picking ornaments off the tree. He wasn't much into presents. Eric smoked a delicious turkey. The rest of the food was catered by Winn Dixie and yummy dishes people brought with them. We did miss Gene. He was in Boyton visiting his mom.

My Autobiography

So, a friend of mine had this on her myspace page since I'm self-absorbed and all, I thought I'd cut and paste it to mine and fill it out for myself.

Part 1: The Birth of You:
Were you a planned baby?: no, I think somebody forgot the condoms
Were you the first?: Yes
Who was present at your birth?: My mom and dad (I think), the doc and nurses. Were your parents married when you were born?: Yes. 9 months to the day!
What is your birthdate?: May 26th

Part 2: The Family
How would you describe your family?: Co-dependent and loyal.
Are your parents married? no, my mom's a widow
Siblings or an only child?: 1 sister
If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?: Oldest
What are your siblings names and ages?: Molly age 27
Which parent do you get along with best?: Mom
What do you fight about?: Nothing now.
Do you have step parents?: Yep, my step-dad, Gene

Part 3: The Friends
Do you have more than one best friend?: Sort of
Who are your best friends?: Jes, Wendi, Maggie, Julie O. (I have several very dear friends as well)
What do you like to do when you are together?: shop, gossip, used to drink with Maggie and Julie
Do you share the same interests?: For the most part, Yes
Which friend can you tell anything to?: All of them but it just depends on if I want an honest reaction or not as to who I tell what to

Part 4: Your Personality
How high/low is your self esteem?: My self-esteem hangs around the middle.
Are you an extrovert or an introvert?: It depends on the situation
Are you happy?: Pretty much.
Do you live life to the fullest?: Yep.

Part 5: Appearance
Are you comforable with the way you look?: After 31 years, yep!
Do you have any piercings besides your ears?: I used to have a belly button ring. Its just not attractive on people of size.
Describe your hair.: sort of a bob cut auburn color growing out
What make-up do you wear?: Clinique
How do you dress?: Pretty casually.

Part 6: The Past
Were you a strange child?: Yes, I thought way too deep into things. Way to mature for a kid.
What did you use to love that you no longer do?: fair rides, now they make me puke and getting drunk at Stetson's
Do you have the same friends?: pretty much
Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?: my dad's death at the age of 12

Part 7: The Future
What is your ambition?: Get married, be a mom and/or become an administrator for the school district
Are you scared of growing old?: I think a little
Do you want to get married?: Yep. but if not, I'm ok.

Part 8: The Outdoors
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: Depends on where that outdoors is.
What is your favorite season?: Fall
Do you like walking in the rain?: yes

Part 9: Food
Are you a vegentarian?: Heck no.
What is your favorite fruit?: anything covered in chocolate or candy apples
What food makes you want to gag?: cantalope for starters.
What is your favorite dessert?: Cheesecake Factory Oreo Cheesecake
What is your favorite restaurant?: Osaka's
Are you a fussy eater?: no

Part 10: Relationships and Love
Are you single or taken?: single
If taken who is the lucky guy/girl?: I'm still waiting on him.
Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?: It's got to be.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Yes
Part 11: Experiences
What was one of your greatest experiences?: becoming an aunt
What was one of your worst?:My Grandma T. dying and me not being there for her during that time
Have you ever done drugs?: Yes,but nothing hardcore.
Have you ever thought you were going to die?: Once.
Have you ever suffered from depression?: Yes.

All in a Day's Work!

So, I went to dinner with a friend of mine I hadn't seen in almost 2 years. I was nervous about meeting him since it had been so long ago and since that time I had discovered the Cheesecake Factory, lol! You know, it takes hard work to look this good. We women sure do go through alot to care for ourselves. I bet I clogged up my pipes today with all the shaving I did! Then when I got out the tub, I had to put on like 3 different creams! Vitamin E on my scars, some $50 cream on my vitiligo and let's not forget the 3 step process from Clinique for my face. I worked hard to coordinate my undergarments with my outergarments. Which when you think about it, is just plain funny b/c I sure didn't put out. So he didn't see any of it anyway. I guess I did all those things for the satisfaction of knowing I looked and felt like a million dollars.

Massage Therapy

So Friday after school I went and got one of those hot stone massages. I used to get massages every 3 weeks but since I bought my house its been like 2 months. When I called to make the appointment the lady asked me if I had a preference over a man or woman. I said no, I really didn't care. Believe or not, I'm pretty comfortable with my body these days. Its taken alot of doughnuts to get to where I am. Just kidding. I have to say I love my body. I'm thankful that it gets me place to place without being in excruciating pain. Scars from recent surgeries remind me that I am cancer-free. The extra padding makes for a nice place for my nephew to lay his head when he is sleepy. And the vitiligo... well, it gives people something to talk about.

Anyway, the guy came in to do the massage and let's just say I was not impressed. I've had massages from men before and this was just plain terrible. It was almost like he was repulsed by my body. I can't explain it really, but if you've ever had a massage you know what I talking about. It was like he was just going through a routine not really caring that it was a person he was working on. The doctor who cut on breast was more gentle than he was.

I'm not quite sure the point of this entry except to say that to be a massage therapist one should appreciate different body types.

What is sexy anyway?

I was playing around with the camara tonight making different faces just cutting the fool. I looked at one, thinking the shot would be sexy and burst out laughing. (Don't worry, I wasn't doing anything wierd just making faces, all clothes on.) Instead of looking sexy, I looked pissed and to top it off, my double chin looked worse than ever. I don't think there is anything sexy about me. I'm beautiful, funny and cute, but definitely NOT sexy. Maybe sexy, like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, I guess I'll just have to wait.

Ever-Changing Perceptions

So I was driving by our local funeral home today when I noticed a few cars parked in the back. This is the same funeral home that planned my daddy's funeral. I got this horrible lump in my throat and my chest felt heavy. All I could think was, "How shitty to have to plan a funeral at Christmas." Then with tears streaming down my face, I laughed out loud and thought... "Yep, it is pretty shitty. I know, b/c I did it, on Christmas day at the age of 12 years old for my father." This is by no means a "feel sorry for Janie" entry. Nope, just sharing. Its funny the things one remembers from one's childhood. I am blessed to say that I don't have too many traumatic experiences to remember.

My mom and I were driving home from Tally tonight and reminiscing (I need to learn to spell that word!) over old times. She said to me, "I never realized just how disfunctional our lives were while I was raising you guys. I guess I went through the motions blindsighted." I laughed at her and said, "well, you did a mighty fine job covering up the disfunctionality." My sister and I went to one of the best private schools in West Palm Beach. We always had plenty of food, clean clothes and all that we needed. I remember thinking how sad I was for some of my friends at school. One girl couldn't see her mom b/c her mom was a bad alcoholic. Another friend got beat for making bad grades. I never knew we were disfunctional. Sure, my dad was an alcoholic but he never abused us and he always worked. My mom devoted her whole life to us. She waited 13 years to date other men after his death! Its funny, different people's perceptions. Better yet, its funny how people's perceptions can change. There were years that I resented my mom, thinking she was suffocating me b/c she was so protective. I see now why she did what she did. I wouldn't change a thing.

Ramblings

Tomorrow is the Friday before Christmas break. Most of my teacher friends hate getting out for Christmas so late. I like it because it keeps me busy all the way up until Christmas. My daddy died December 24, 1988. Perhaps you're thinking, "geez its been 19 years, get over it already." For some reason its not that easy. My friend Jes and I have a running joke that we sort of hold our breath from the day ofter Thanksgiving all the way up until December 26th for fear that something bad is going to happen. This year is going to be an interesting one. I'm not on any anxiety meds nor am in counseling. I don't think I'm acting any differently without either of the two. Sad to say, but I do feel like I'm holding my breath, exhaling ever so slowly, trying to enjoy the holidays yet very much aware that at a moment's notice, something can happen.

You know, I was driving home tonight from Tally feeling really on edge for many reasons... the weather was rainy and I was in the dark, the season in general and then the fact that there is a killer on the loose somewhere around this area who likes to kidnap women, cut their appendages (and I do mean ALL appendages off) and dump their bodies in the woods). I mean seriously, if I could have gotten ahold of some pot, it would have been mine! (ok, not really, but you catch my drift!) Then I thought, "Janie, you CAN'T live like this. What can I do to change this situation? First of all, as far as missing Daddy and Grandma, I have their memories and now we have Thomas. My aunt reminded that everyday is a gift and there is always something to look forward to. Then there was the terrible weather... well, I just have to be careful, I'm a good driver and as for the killer... I'm taking a self-defense course on Saturday, buying a gun and definitely not going anywhere alone. That's all I can do! For the sake of the family who has lost their loved one, I hope they find the bastard and let him have it.

My New House

I've been in my new house since September 15th. I guess its not new anymore. Its kind of like saying, the new Walmart, which has been open since June 2006. Anyway, as I was cleaning today I looked at the placemats and cloth napkins on my table. Its funny, b/c the purpose of placemats should be to put your plates on them and eat. Do we do that? No, when we sit down to eat we remove them from the table and use paper napkins! Are we the only family that does that?

Pictures

Last night we all dressed up in matching olive green shirts and met at J.C. Penneys for family pictures. If anybody has ever experienced family pictures you know it is like accomplishing a 5K race! Surprisingly enough, you couldn't have asked for a smoother experience. Everybody showed up ontime and in a good mood. I can't wait to get them back. We haven't had family shots taken since my mom and Gene were married in 2001.

Afterwards, we went to Logans (my favorite restaurant!). My sister and brother-in-law treated me to dinner for getting Teacher of the Year at my school. I'm sure blessed to have a great family. I love eating together as a family. Ok, enough with that. I'm starting to sound like a Publix commercial.

The Little Things

My sister and brother-in-law stopped by my house the other night to drop off my cell phone. Eric, my bro-in-law, asked Molly, "I wonder what Janie is up to tonight." Her reply, "I bet she's laying on the couch enjoying her new Direct TV." His response, "Man, she sure is lucky."

Its funny the little things in life we take for granted. My sister and brother-in-law are parents to a very active almost 10 month old baby boy. He sleeps very little and is constantly into things. While they'd NEVER trade in their precious Thomas, its funny how one can miss little things in life like vegging on the couch.

It's Taken Me 31 Years, 6 months, 3 weeks and 2 days...

Yep, that's how long its taken me to finally be OK with me! I've always known that I'm a beautiful girl, but I'm always trying to find ways to better myself. Subconsciously, I've put my life on hold thinking I'm not complete until I lose 60 pounds or I get out of debt or how about this one... I get married! Its not going to happen anymore. I am complete! I'm NOT going to do anymore fad diets or exercise until my eyeballs fall out. Now don't get me wrong, do I think its healthy to sit around watching t.v. and eating junk all day? Nope, absolutely not, but instead of weight being a constant priority, I'm going to focus on my health.

As for $$$. I'm doing the best I can. I thank God everyday that my car cranks and gets me from point A to point B. I have a fabulous job that I love and my bills are paid on time. What more can a girl ask for.

As for a man...well, if the right one comes along then great. If not, I'm not going to cry about it. Being a size 6 doesn't make a person more worthy of finding a man. I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and for the first time in a long time, I saw a gorgeous girl wearing a size 18. Her smile could knock the socks off of a GQ model! One chin or two, I'm worthy, strong and fantastic.

It's A Boy!!!

A very dear friend had her baby today. Its exciting and weird all at the same time. I said that tonight at dinner to my mom who kind of gave me a puzzled look and said, "Weird? Janie, your friends are in their 30's. They SHOULD be having babies." I just laughed at her and said, "I guess you are right." I guess she's forgotten that I'm in my 30's. So SHOULD I be having babies? HELL NO!!! Don't get me wrong, I want to be a mamma. I really want a husband. I've got a huge blank wall space above my couch just waiting for wedding pictures (really I'm not that shallow, I know there's more to marriage than wedding pics). But, I'm not going to marry any ole smuck who comes along and after teaching special kids all day, I'm sure as heck am NOT birthin' no babies on my own! A good friend of mine once said it's better to live alone than to be married and feel alone. (I think I quoted her correctly.)

I guess its weird because my friends having babies are the ones I used to spend Friday nights with at Paradise and Stetson's. They're the ones who got us free drinks by flirting. Nevermind the fact that I haven't had a sip of alcohol in probably 3 months and the last time I did, I got horrendous heart burn! LOL!

Well, that's about it, just felt like sharing that. Take Care!

Field Trip

So after a month of planning, phone calls, faxes and begging, I finally got a field trip scheduled for my kiddos. We got free admission to the Jr. Museum and thanks to Holly, we got free Happy Meals from McDonalds. Even my kiddo with the g-tube got to enjoy some ice cream! Most of you know that I teach children with severe language impairments. Some are autistic, others have chromosome disorders and some, just don't have a diagnosis. We only have 7 students but there are some days its like having 21! Because of their special needs, I really believe they need community based instruction (a fancy term for field trips), more so than the average kid.

Anyway, a couple of teachers found out about our field trip and really got upset. This is my second year at Pre-K and I didn't know that field trips were taboo. Apparently, other teachers have tried to go on field trips and they were told no. I'm not sure why, but my guess is $ and safety issues. Since we only had to pay for gas and we had 9 adults to 7 children I guess thats why we got to go. The more I think about the whole situation the madder I get. As a teacher, instead of being jealous, I would think you would be happy for my class. My program is different. Nobody else in our school has kids with the needs like mine do. Let's face it, these kids aren't going to graduate with a regular diploma. Out of 7 students, 1 parent chaperoned. For some of these kids, I think this was the first time they ate a Happy Meal! My point is, let them enjoy what little opportunities they do get. It really saddens me that people who are so-called educators think like that.

I've got to go plan something for January. Let the others be jealous!

You just never know...

So, back in October I went to see a dermatologist about my Vitiligo. For those of you who don't know what Vitiligo is, its the skin condition that Michael Jackson has. Its mostly prevalent in African Americans, but in rare instances (that would be me), white people get it too. All it means that you lose your skin pigment. I'm blessed in that I'm very light-skinned so its only really noticeable on me in the summer time. I was diagnosed with Vitiligo when I was like 19 years old. At that time, all the doctor said I could do was keep covered up in the sun b/c there wasn't any treatment for it. Over the years, I periodically did research on it and finally found a treatment for it. So, I went to the dermatologist to see if I was a candidate for treatment. The good news is, I am. He sent me home with a $50 tube of cream to use twice a day and follow-up in 3 months. The bad news is he wanted to play Inspector Gadget and check my moles. When I say, check... I mean check. I should have worn matching underwear that day! He found two that looked suspicious and wanted me to have biopsies on them. I really didn't want to but the doctor pointed out that I had 5 tattoos and two biopsies wouldn't kill me. I thought going to the gyno was bad. One of the biopsies was done on my boob. Before they did the biopsie they took pictures of it for a study they were doing. I'm pretty sure that's the closest to me being in porn I'll ever get! There I was in all my glory, and a hot intern had to take my picture. If there would been a hole, I'd of been in it! The other one was on my neck, so now I have what looks like a permanent hickie! So anyway, I left feeling pretty positive that nothing was wrong and since I didn't get a phone call within 3-4 days like the nurse said I should get, I figured I was in the clear but I called anyway to see why I hadn't gotten a clearance letter. She said b/c I wasn't clear and that both biopsies came back as having abnormal genes which means they should be removed because I'm at risk for cancer. So, now I have an appointment with a plastic surgeon to see what needs to be done. I think while I'm in there I'm going to ask him if can do some lipo too. Its crazy b/c you always hear about stuff like this happening to other people. I didn't mean to sound like a pompous ass, I guess what I mean is I've never had a broken arm, never been in the hospital, still have my appendix and tonsils, you know what I mean. So, I guess this means, no more tanning beds for me!

This One's For the Parents!

I think its Martina McBride that sings a song called, "This Ones For the Girls." She goes through the stages of womanhood beginning with teenage worries to old lady blues. All along the way, she cheers on women of all ages. I'm changing it up a bit and calling my entry, "This One's For the Parents."

When people ask what I do for a living and I tell that I teach pre-school aged children with "severe" disabilities I usually get a look of awe and a comment like, "It takes a special person to teach kids like that." Sometimes, I get a look of pity and a comment like, "I don't know how you do that day after day. I'd think that's depressing." And to that comment, Well, I'll admit that there are days when I've changed one too many stinky diapers or chased down one too many kiddos and I want to throw in the towel. Honestly, aside from teaching high school ESE (which those people should get an extra special place in heaven) this has got to be the most exhausting job I've ever had. The progress is slow, if any. Our facility is below standards. I'm CONSTANTLY second guessing myself: things like... If I'd have shown him the picture of the bus 4 times before it actually arrived we could have avoided a tantrum, is it really necessary to make him pull up his own pants if it pisses him off that bad? You get the picture.

Then there are the days when I realize that it is worth it. Days like Friday when a student signed "more" for the first time in the year and a half we've had him, or when another child said, "Hi, Janie." When I walked into the room.

Oh yeah, my point to this blog... see how self-absorbed I am? The parents. Way too many times, as teachers we place blame on the parents. I'll admit it. I've been that self-rightous-never-been-a-parent-but-I'll-sure-as-hell-judge-you-on-your-parenting-techniques kind of person. This year has been an eye-opener for me. We have NO IDEA what these parents go through. I've been quick to blame parents for their child's headbutting or screaming. Then I step back and think about my evening and compare it to theirs. I get off of work at 3:30pm, go to Wal-Mart alone buy whatever I want for dinner, walk in the park or visit a friend alone, have my dinner in front of the t.v., and go to bed when I'm ready, AFTER taking a bubble bath of course. Most of these parents are single, working until 5 or 6pm, driving 30-45minutes to and from work, have more than one child, and barely any time for themselves. Bubble baths are NOT an option because their child with autism can't be left unnattended and heaven forbid he go to sleep before 2:00am! Buying what they want for dinner? Not when you have a child on a gluten-free diet. Am I saying that these are excuses for parents of children with severe disabilities. Not at all. What I am saying is my hat goes off to each and everyone of them. Instead of placing blame, its my job to work alongside of them to help curb the headbutting and screaming. Its my job to point out the good things these parents do, like signing their notes everyday, sending their child to school clean and on time.

Back to the beginning of my blog. Yep, it takes a special person to teach these kids, but it takes an even more special parent to parent them. I go home at 3:30pm. Parents have nights, weekends and long-term care to think about. As for second-guessing, I can't imagine what goes through these parents' minds. I commend these parents. God has placed these special kids in your hands for a reason.

Ramblings of a Pre-K ESE Teacher

Happy Fall, Friends! I love this time of year. The leaves are turning colors, the humidity is dropping (wishful thinking) and it means one day closer to Christmas break!!!! I just had the urge to ramble so I figured I would. I've been in my new house for about 5 weeks now. I love it! Some nights I just sit on the couch and look up at my vaulted ceilings in awe. Please don't take this as me being vain. Nope, I'm very grateful for what I have. I know I didn't do it alone. Its just funny to think about how far I've come. My friend Maggie and I were laughing the other day about how we used to barely make rent each month (it was $280 for each of us!) It wasn't funny back then but it sure makes me feel good now.

I've had 3 housewarming parties. I LOVE having people over. I am very blessed and thankful to have so many wonderful people in my life. My brother-in-law and step-dad have also put alot of sweat into this place. I'm pretty much unpacked and have pictures on the wall. I have a big empty space above my sofa though. I'm keeping that space free in hopes of one day putting something really special there. That's all I'm going to say b/c I already sound like a huge dork!

Have you noticed just how many pregnant women are walking around out there? No offense to any of them at all. Its just funny, because for some strange reason, hormonal maybe, I'm going through this baby phase. There are days when I see these pregnant women and envy them. Don't worry, Its NOT going to happen. For one, Mr. Right has NOT fallen from the sky and two because of that I don't want to raise a kid alone for fear of screwing him or her up. I also know that pregnancy and childbirth are no day at the beach. I'm not crazy. I'm sure it's just a phase.

Other ramblings... you know, I never dreamed that I'd ever be settled enough to buy a house. For me, buying meant staying put, being trapped. I don't feel like that anymore. Which makes me wonder if maybe, just maybe, I can actually date without getting that sick feeling in my stomach, you know the one, where you're not sure whether you want to puke or do the other. The problem is where to meet guys. I'm too old and tired to go out clubbing, all my exes are married with kiddos, and church... nope, not happening (they're just not there.) I was waiting to lose lots of weight before finding someone but that's a pipe dream. I'm me, 5'3, size 16-18 (ok, ok, mostly 18-20) and I'm tired of feeling bad about myself for being a big girl. Its just not healthy.

I think that's about it. If you're ever in the neighborhood stop by! Love, J

Home Sweet Home!

Home Sweet Home!

I'm moved in...

Well, I closed on my house on Wednesday. I'm moved in... sort of. My step-dad, brother-in-law and a couple of friends came and helped load things up and move me in. Now, I'm just waiting on little things that I can't do. (putting up blinds, delivering my entertainment center, old bed to the Goodwill) I know I sound like a weinie but I carried, put together and loaded as much as I could. And now I have to wait. I HATE being out of control. Does anybody have any Xanex??? Just kidding, all that would do would make me MORE out of control. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful people to help me with things around here.

I LOVE my new house. Its so spaceous. I can't wait to send you pictures. I'm still in awe. Right now I feel like I'm housesitting for somebody else. I'm sure that feeling will go away real fast once I start making my house payments!

Well, the Badcock guys are here. Let me go check on things. AAAAGGGHHH!!!!

Should Haves and Would Haves

I was thinking the other day about life and just how things have turned out for me. I was thinking about all those wasted years spent feeling resentment for things not happening the way I thought they should have happened. I was thinking about my anxiety and the wasted nights nto sleeping but rather spent feeling guilty or worried about things I had no control over. After all that 'thinkin' I decided to make a list of 'Should Haves' and turn them into positives.

See from the time I was about 10 years old, I had my life planned out. So, these 'Should Haves' are things I thought I should have had by a certain age but am finally OK with the fact that it didn't happen.

*I should have moved away for college but if I had I would have missed out on family experiences.
*I should have married my high school sweetheart right after college but if I had I would have probably been divorced within 2 years. (All my close friends know this story all too well!)
*I should have had my first baby by age 25, my second one by 28 and my 3rd one would have been due any day now but if I had I would have been unable to enjoy the birth of my 2 nephews and niece. I wouldn't have been able to take them on trips or spend lots of money on crazy gadgets they talk me into. Thomas hasn't started that yet, but he will!
*I should have bought my first house by age 24 but if I had I wouldn't have been able to teach in China or Mexico nevermind packing up and moving to West Palm Beach for 10 months.

I guess thats about it right now. I'm sure there's more but I need to unload the boxes from my car. If all goes well I'll be moving into my new house next Tuesday!

Love, J

Happy Labor Day!

Good News! The seller took the bid on the house and I'll be closing September 11th. Eery, I know but that's 30 days from when the bid was made. So, my house is filled with boxes and I'm all set to go. Once I move in, I'll take some pictures and post them. I'm really excited about this opportunity. Scared, yet excited and proud.

Mom and I drove to Louisiana this weekend and picked up Thomas so Molly and Eric could put the final touches on their house. They should be here by Friday. Mom took the week off to keep Thomas. She and Gene painted Molly's old room, put down an adorable rug and crib for Thomas. Now granted the kids been home for two nights, but guess where he's been sleeping? With my mom! She bought a nanny camara today and she says that once she has that set up she'll feel more comfortable letting him sleep in his room. I am so happy to have my family back together. Its only been 6 years but it seems like a decade.

Wish me luck, I'm applying to FSU for the Ed Leadership program. This will open doors for me in the administrative realm of the school system. Its funny b/c less than a year ago I could NOT see myself in that capacity. Now I think I'm ready to learn the ropes. I may not get an administrative position for a while but in the meantime , I can work on the degree.

My class is tough this year. Ironically, I'm not as stressed as I was this time last year, but its tough nontheless. My co-teacher and I have 7 little friends with severe needs. 3 are autistic, 3 have chromosome disorders, and one we're not sure what his diagnosis is but we know he needs one! (our guess is he was born addicted to drugs, but we don't have proof) The hardest thing about the job is getting them all to the bathroom safely and pottying them without one of them running away. We don't have a bathroom in our classroom and all but two of them are in diapers!

If any of you have any tips for dealing with autistic friends, please share. They have got to be the toughest kids out there to reach. I guess I'm having a hard time sorting out learned bad behaviors versus true autistic behaviors. As a result, I think I've been too hard on them.

As for my chromosome kids, they are the sweetest, most enthusiastic kids ever. I just can't keep their attention for very long. I need some good ideas on how to play with both groups. (Trish, Rebecca, Heather, Tammy???) That may sound dumb to some, but their play isn't typical and by the time I sit down to play, they're running off to another area. My thought is to do some sort of directed play (so not ECERS, I know) by putting them in Rifton chairs and playing one on one with them with toys on the Rifton tray. They'll still get their free play but I don't feel like I'm teaching them anything by letting them roam.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I need to go walk my dog!

Love, J

Commitments

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I got pre-approved for a new house. While I am thrilled, I'm nervous. I'm thinking this is probably the scariest thing I've ever done. Has anybody else ever felt that way? All these things run through my mind, like what if I lose my job, what if my car breaks down, what if I can't shop at Target anymore...

People keep telling me this is an investment. I'm getting a good rate, I'm not financing more than I can afford and its BRAND NEW. I guess I'm scared that this means I'm settling down. Which is really stupid b/c I've been settled. I love where I live, my family is here and furthermore I can't see myself leaving. So, why the jitters?

I should know by Tuesday whether or not the seller agrees to my offer. In the meantime, please pray for me. I want to know that I'm making a wise decision. Love, J

Picture Perfect!

The whole gang! This took about 7 times to get right!!!

Attempt #10 for a perfect shot!

Cousins!!!!

Posing Thomas.

Naked Thomas.

Thomas 5 months.

Maddison, age 2. Erica's oldest.

Belle, age 5 month. Erica's youngest.

When we were kids, my mom and aunt would take us kids to Sears and have our pictures taken as a group. So, we all decided to carry on that tradition. We had NO idea what we were getting ourselves into. These are the best of the best. If you look on Molly or Erica's myspace page you can see ALL the attempts. What a mess!

Life is GOOOOOOOD!!!!

Life is good and I am sooooo happy!!! I've had to wait to do an update until things were official but it looks like Molly, Eric and Thomas will be moving home the middle of September! They're not sure where they are going to live as of yet. They've put their house on the market but things are slow right now, especially in New Orleans with it being hurricane season and all. Right now, they're considering renting in my apartment complex. I can NOT tell you thankful I am about them moving home. This summer was terrific. Ok, the actual living in New Orleans caused my anxiety to sky rocket but the opportunity to care for Thomas and spend time with my sister was worth every moment.

As for me, I got a pre-approval for a home loan this week. The interest rate is just right and so I put a bid on a 3/2 just down the road from where I live now. Its still under construction. I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm just praying for the Lord's will. So far, He's done a great job keeping me straight so I'm leaving all of this to His plan as well. This whole house buying thing is a bit scary but I love living here and don't plan to move anytime soon.

My family and I went to dinner last week at a restaurant right on marina. Its not a fancy restaurant but the view of the water makes up for the cosmetics of it. I thought how wonderful it is to live in such a beautiful place. I live less than 30 minutes from the beach and there are at least 4 rivers to canoe in. (I use the word canoe rather loosely, poor Staci!) You can actually swim with the manatees! My point is, I am happy.

So, school starts back August 13th. The kiddos come on August 20th. I have ALOT of work to do before Open House. This year, my co-teacher and I will be teaching 7 students. 4 have autism and the other 3 have chromosome disorders of some sort. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. I want to make a difference in their lives, but I'm not sure about what all to do.

Well, I should go. Love, J