Have you ever felt like you had a hot air balloon on your shoulders for a head? That was me today. I think I'm allergic to something in my classroom b/c since school's started I've been in the doctor's office on a monthly basis for sinus trouble. I've been to the ENT too. I've had x-rays, but they can't find anything. GO FIGURE.
Today would have been alot of fun if I hadn't of gone from wanting to puke to wanting to stop my headache from hell. All our little friends came dressed so cute in their Halloween costumes. We had a parade around the school, stopping at various places to get candy. Afterwards, we had a party. It went off without a hitch. I am so grateful for all the parental support we got. The children had a good day. I have to admit it was a bit challenging trying to help Buzz Lightyear and the Fairytopia Princess go potty without peeing on their costumes but we did it! I was a red M&M. I've had that costume for 9 years! I wore it my first year teaching. It was alot looser back then.
I haven't made it to the gym this week and I have to admit I'm sort of bummed about it. I have had plently of time but just too sick to go. I managed not to gorge myself today so I shouldn't have gained anything. Hopefully tomorrow I can go. The doctor gave me steroid shot and I'm feeling pretty good.
Well, I should go. I' m tired and I think for the first time in 3 nights, I just might be able to sleep. TaKE cARE!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
Put Your Big Girl Panties On and Deal With It!
How funny life is. I know that's probably not grammatically correct but who cares? I woke up this morning determined to wear my 'big girl panties' and deal with things. (Sorry, don't take that statement literally and you'll be fine!) I thanked God for my new furnace that heats my whole house and the electricity that allowed my alarm clock to go off so that I wouldn't be late for work. I got in my beat up ole Honda and drove the 3 miles to work, yes I said 3 miles and thanked Him for that. As I mopped up spilt milk, I had to laugh out loud at the fact that I make almost $40,ooo a year to wipe up spilt milk and play all day with people I truly love. I am truly blessed. I don't have money or a fancy car, but I have so many wonderful people in my life and for that I am grateful!
Sunday, October 29, 2006
My Plan
So, my last entry was a real blagh fest. The whole time I typed it, I thought, "well Janie, what the hell are you going to do to fix things?" So here goes:
1. my weight, okay, Tammy, you don't have to write me a long sweet letter like the last time. I am beautiful. I know this, but when I can't breathe when I bend over to tie a kid's shoe, its time to take action. Rebecca, don't laugh, but I'm back on the weight loss train. This time its Weight Watchers. I actually feel in control. So far, I've lost 10 pounds in two weeks. Go me! I don't expect to lose that much from here on out but 1-2 pounds a week will suffice. I actually crave exercise. Is that sick or what?
2. my love life, I keep hearing people say, "when you're not looking it'll happen. So, I've decided to hell with it. No more internet dating, no more feeling lonely. I'm going to concentrate on me, have fun with my friends and see what happens.
3. my car, I can't buy a new one right now. Possibly in February or March. Until then, I will test drive a variety of cars, research prices on the internet and continue to improve my credit.
4. my home, currently I am doing an owner-financing deal. In June, I'll be able to get a loan from a bank and this place will officially be mine. At that point, I will put a big-ass FOR SALE sign out front and in the newspapers and get rid of this place. In the meantime, I am going to be looking for a NEW townhouse with minimal yard issues and trees that are firmly planted in the ground! Once I sell this dump, I will buy a new home.
So, that's my plan.
1. my weight, okay, Tammy, you don't have to write me a long sweet letter like the last time. I am beautiful. I know this, but when I can't breathe when I bend over to tie a kid's shoe, its time to take action. Rebecca, don't laugh, but I'm back on the weight loss train. This time its Weight Watchers. I actually feel in control. So far, I've lost 10 pounds in two weeks. Go me! I don't expect to lose that much from here on out but 1-2 pounds a week will suffice. I actually crave exercise. Is that sick or what?
2. my love life, I keep hearing people say, "when you're not looking it'll happen. So, I've decided to hell with it. No more internet dating, no more feeling lonely. I'm going to concentrate on me, have fun with my friends and see what happens.
3. my car, I can't buy a new one right now. Possibly in February or March. Until then, I will test drive a variety of cars, research prices on the internet and continue to improve my credit.
4. my home, currently I am doing an owner-financing deal. In June, I'll be able to get a loan from a bank and this place will officially be mine. At that point, I will put a big-ass FOR SALE sign out front and in the newspapers and get rid of this place. In the meantime, I am going to be looking for a NEW townhouse with minimal yard issues and trees that are firmly planted in the ground! Once I sell this dump, I will buy a new home.
So, that's my plan.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Keeping Up With the Jones'
Prologue... not sure if that is the right term, I have a friend of mine who says its setting the stage. Anyway, whatever it is, I started writing this entry on October 9th but put off finishing it because I wasn't sure what else to write. I also don't want people to think I'm a spoiled brat who isn't appreciative about what I have. Lord knows, I am! This entry isn't a feel sorry for me plea either. Just a girl expressing her thoughts...
Sh... sit real still. Can you hear it? Its the sound of silence. Why you ask? Well, its because my satellite is out of commission. You know the funny thing? I kind of like it without the t.v. If I didn't have a contract I think I'd have it turned off. Seriously, the power people came today to install a new pole and ironically now my satellite isn't getting a signal. It could be until Saturday before I get any t.v.! GASP!!! How will I ever survive? (By the way, I paid the bill, its not that)
Oh, before I write about my feature title, I should let you know that my sister is having a boy. We got the ultrasound photos last Wednesday and he is definitely a boy! Quite the gymnast too. He was standing on his head with his legs wide open for all the world to see his little manhood! Molly and Eric have decided to name him Thomas Ralph. He will be called Thomas or Tom. Thomas after Eric's dad and Ralph after our father. I know, not very popular names but its the sentiment behind them. Also, the placenta has reattached. Keep praying. Only 18 or so weeks to go. She's at 17 now.
While I'm so excited about this little guy I'm also worried. Shocker I know... me worry? Seriously, I'm afraid I won't get to bond with him because they live so far away. Also, I'll be the aunt he's not allowed to spend the night with because she lives with her dog in a trailor. We shall see...
Oh yeah, so the reason for my title. Its so funny how people compare themselves to others. One is never skinny enough, or lives in a nice neighborhood or drives a good enough car. Why are we like this? Why do I constantly compare myself to other people? I've been pondering this for a while now. Growing up, I always had to be the best. I had to make the best grades, look my best, etc. Funny, how despite the good experiences I have about growing up, those same memories are also contaminated with worries. If only I'd had meds and therapy back then! Now that I'm older there are times I am angered that despite having a master's degree as well as made several other accomplishments, all I have to show for it is a car with way tooooo many miles on it and a trailor that's so old that we're not really sure just what year it was made! There's a group of us that all graduated from college together. We call ourselves the 'London girls' because we all studied abroad one summer and became great friends. We try to see each other at least once a year. I love those girls. Of the six of us, though, I always feel less than, or not quite adequate. Crazy, I know but I do. They always seem to have it together. Most of them are married, with children. They all live in gorgeous homes, etc. Then there's my sister. Do you know how humiliating it is to call your baby sister to ask her if you can borrow her credit card because you don't have one of your own? Nevermind the fact that she's branch manager of a bank and drives a Lexus. I'm not a bad person. I work very hard for my money. In fact, I always seem to have at least two jobs. Why don't I have something to show for it?
Again, this isn't a pity parade for Janie. Maybe it is. I don't know. I've been harboring these feelings for some time now and felt the need to get them on paper. As I've mentioned before, I am grateful for the experiences in my life. The places I've been, the tasks I've accomplished, even my green CRV that I have to open the driver's side door when I'm in the drive-thru window b/c the window won't go down. So, why... why do I feel the need to be like everybody else? (I'm not asking for comments. Just questioning myself.)
Sh... sit real still. Can you hear it? Its the sound of silence. Why you ask? Well, its because my satellite is out of commission. You know the funny thing? I kind of like it without the t.v. If I didn't have a contract I think I'd have it turned off. Seriously, the power people came today to install a new pole and ironically now my satellite isn't getting a signal. It could be until Saturday before I get any t.v.! GASP!!! How will I ever survive? (By the way, I paid the bill, its not that)
Oh, before I write about my feature title, I should let you know that my sister is having a boy. We got the ultrasound photos last Wednesday and he is definitely a boy! Quite the gymnast too. He was standing on his head with his legs wide open for all the world to see his little manhood! Molly and Eric have decided to name him Thomas Ralph. He will be called Thomas or Tom. Thomas after Eric's dad and Ralph after our father. I know, not very popular names but its the sentiment behind them. Also, the placenta has reattached. Keep praying. Only 18 or so weeks to go. She's at 17 now.
While I'm so excited about this little guy I'm also worried. Shocker I know... me worry? Seriously, I'm afraid I won't get to bond with him because they live so far away. Also, I'll be the aunt he's not allowed to spend the night with because she lives with her dog in a trailor. We shall see...
Oh yeah, so the reason for my title. Its so funny how people compare themselves to others. One is never skinny enough, or lives in a nice neighborhood or drives a good enough car. Why are we like this? Why do I constantly compare myself to other people? I've been pondering this for a while now. Growing up, I always had to be the best. I had to make the best grades, look my best, etc. Funny, how despite the good experiences I have about growing up, those same memories are also contaminated with worries. If only I'd had meds and therapy back then! Now that I'm older there are times I am angered that despite having a master's degree as well as made several other accomplishments, all I have to show for it is a car with way tooooo many miles on it and a trailor that's so old that we're not really sure just what year it was made! There's a group of us that all graduated from college together. We call ourselves the 'London girls' because we all studied abroad one summer and became great friends. We try to see each other at least once a year. I love those girls. Of the six of us, though, I always feel less than, or not quite adequate. Crazy, I know but I do. They always seem to have it together. Most of them are married, with children. They all live in gorgeous homes, etc. Then there's my sister. Do you know how humiliating it is to call your baby sister to ask her if you can borrow her credit card because you don't have one of your own? Nevermind the fact that she's branch manager of a bank and drives a Lexus. I'm not a bad person. I work very hard for my money. In fact, I always seem to have at least two jobs. Why don't I have something to show for it?
Again, this isn't a pity parade for Janie. Maybe it is. I don't know. I've been harboring these feelings for some time now and felt the need to get them on paper. As I've mentioned before, I am grateful for the experiences in my life. The places I've been, the tasks I've accomplished, even my green CRV that I have to open the driver's side door when I'm in the drive-thru window b/c the window won't go down. So, why... why do I feel the need to be like everybody else? (I'm not asking for comments. Just questioning myself.)
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