Family is Forever

Family is Forever

Monday, April 28, 2008

40 Pounds Baby!!!

NO, not a 40 pound baby, but I've lost 40 pounds! Its so unreal. I can't believe my new attitude/outlook on life. I eat to live now, versus living to eat. I like to exercise. I can't believe I just typed that. I started doing Weight Watchers last week. I need the good carbs with all the running I'm doing. WW has all these new incentives for losing weight. One is a key chain once you hit your 10% weightloss. I'm getting that damn key chain! The problem is I've got to lose 16-17 pounds before I can get it. So, in all I need to lose about 25 more pounds and I'll be at a healthy reasonable weight. Here's some recent pictures to show everybody. I'm conceited but I'm also grateful to be truly happy for the first time in my life.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Needed:

Steamy hot man who smells good to come share my new bed with me. Ok, that sounded slutty didn't it? I didn't mean for it to come out that way. Its just I have all this room and Missy and I would like to share it. My mom and I went shopping with intentions of buying a new bed for HER. The sales lady informed us that they were having a great special and you could buy a king size bed for the price of a full! I just bought a queen size bed in September that is in perfect condition and my mom doesn't have room for a king size bed so guess who ended up with a new bed??? Yep, me. I am so spoiled. My mom got my bed. Here are some pics of my new bed. I am in hog heaven. I just need to find the right headboard and my room will be complete!

Me after a great nights rest in my new bed:

I've lost enough weight that I can lay down and still see my feet! (My mother was a bit confused by this picture. She wasn't sure why this was a big deal to me.)

These Are My Confessions...

I think Usher has a song by that title. I was thinking the other day about silly pet peeves I have. I probably shouldn't even blog them but I'm going to anyway. So here goes:
1. I'm obsessed with watching 'Days of Our Lives.' My brother-in-law says I should be embarrassed to even tell people I watch it but... I even have their spoiler paged bookedmarked on my computer!
2. If my bras and underwear don't match, I feel out of sorts.
3. I love to smell Crayola crayons.
4. I've been a fan of Jon Bon Jovi's since I was 10 years old. My dream is to visit Saraville, NJ one day. That's his birthplace.
5. For a single person living alone, I have an overabundance of toilet paper, paper towels and washing detergent. Not sure why, but I get out of sorts when I'm low on any of these things.
6. I've taught ESE for about 10 years now. Yesterday, I caught myself lining up ketchup packets at McDonalds. Could I be on the spectrum?

My New Normal

Trish, I'm borrowing your title for just this one entry, ok??? My co-teacher and I wrote a grant for our kiddos to go on a field trip. We got it approved and took them to a marine place last week. Reality hit me hard this time. Let me start off by saying that I am NOT embarrassed of my students, so please don't think that. (for confidentiality, I'm not using names, just first initials) I guess we get into our routine and its all normal for us. Its no big deal that A has to be tube fed at lunch or that T wears a bright orange vest on the playground so that he can be seen at all times. We know that when TC repeats what you say that means he wants whatever choice you gave him. Its not a big deal for K to hum 'Bob the Builder' but use picture cards to express his needs. And as for W... we know that when he starts laughing uncontrollably and twisting his hands, that well, he's laughing at his guardian angels we can't see. To give you a little background we have 2 kids on the spectrum, 2 with chromosomal differences, 1 who is delayed as a result of mom coming into contact with CMV during her pregnancy and one who, well, has some serious behavioral issues which we think may be linked to drug exposure while in utero. One of our SLPs was sweet to say that J is a perfect little 14 month old instead of stating, "despite being 4 years old, his behaviors are 2-3 years below his chronological age." While writing our transition statements for kindergarten, my co-teacher and I were careful to state what our kiddos CAN do versus what they can't. We didn't sugar coat things but we tried very hard to be positive.
Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble but I thought I should "set the stage" in order to make sense of what my reality was that day on that field trip. As I was saying, we get into our routine, we are positive about what all the kids can do and then we go on a field trip and reality hits. My two friends with autism are so overcome with anxiety. One has like 4 or 5 magnetic letters he's fumbling to hold onto for comfort. The other one is humming/moaning. It was as if he was saying, "ok, this is new, not sure where we are or what's going to happen. I'm in overload mode." My crack baby (I know that is so politically incorrect but forgive me just this once,) is jumping up and down trying to wriggle himself out of my hands, my CMV kiddo is screaming at my co-teacher and of course, my sweet chromosome friends are smiling, enjoying the view and taking it all in. As I was about to threaten bodily harm to my crack baby who was wriggling out of my hands, it hit me, we are not normal. Myself included. But then I asked myself, what is normal anyway? I'll save that entry for another day.
It also made my heart ache for their parents. Can you imagine, day in and day out, having to "set the stage" for your child with autism only hoping that you've done so in the right order and way so as to not start a rage? Or what about the gracious foster parents who are raising the crack baby? His foster mother hugged me the other day and said she appreciated the positive notes sent home. She said she knows its not an easy task teaching him. I said, we could never do as much as she and her husband are doing by raising this child. I could go on and on.
I'm not really sure why I felt the need to write this entry but I did anyway. I know I've written another similar one in the past but I felt the need to revisit. By the way, after the field trip, we went to McDonalds for lunch. My co-teacher caught me lining up ketchup packets in a row. (for those of you who aren't abreast to what's so special about that... its a red flag for autism!) Welcome to My New Normal!

I had a one night stand...

with a cupcake! You thought I was going to say a guy, didn't you? What dirty minds! Seriously, as a part of this diet I'm on once you start to plateau you have to do a 3 day cheat,which basically entails eating crap for 3 days to sort of shock your body. After the 3 day cheat, you go back to 3 days of nothing but protein and then you're back on track. Normally, people lose about 10 pound through this process. Of course, I am anything but normal! I haven't weighed in yet to see if it worked but I'm not expecting much because of what happened. I went on the 3 day cheat Thursday-Saturday, April 10-12th. I didn't stuff myself but I did eat things I normally wouldn't eat like ice cream two days in a row, cheesecake, pizza, a sub from Publix on white bread, french fries (do you get the picture???) So, after the race on Saturday I felt unusually tired so I took a nap. I woke up the worst headache ever and was incredibly nauseated. Sunday wasn't any better. My postnasal drip came back in full force and I couldn't even start the protein part of the diet until Monday. I seriously thought it was the flu until I talked to my friend Staci who also on this diet and did a 3 day cheat as well. Guess what? She had the same symptoms!!! I was finally able to complete the 3 day protein kick but man was I weak and nauseated. I took a spinning class on Wednesday and almost passed out. My trainer, who is also the spinning instructor pulled me aside after class and asked me what I had been eating lately. I tell you, I felt like I was the star of one of those Lifetime movie specials. YOu know, the ones where the teenage girl is secretly anorexic and her best friend rats her out? My best friend didn't rat me out but what happened was I cancelled my training session with my trainer for Monday and told her I thought I had the flu. I wasn't lying because at that point that's what I thought it was. My best friend, Jes also works with my trainer. So, Tuesday afternoon she asked Jes how I was feeling. Jes casually told her that I was doing somewhat better since I was only eating protein now. In the meantime after talking with Staci I realized it was the diet not the flu. Its funny now but man did I learn my lesson. So, Marilynn, my trainer, confronts me after class and says, "Janie, if you are going to exercise as much as you are doing, you are going to have to change your diet." So that's why I felt like I was in a movie special. By Friday, not only did I have a nasty sinus infection but I also developed another not so nice infection that I will not go into details about over the internet. Nevertheless, both are caused by excess consumptions of sugar! While I dispise being nauseated, I'm glad it happened because it really makes me think twice about what I put in my mouth. My body doesn't handle sugar well.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Before the Race



Palace Saloon, April 12th, 2008
I can't think of a better cause for our first 5k!

After the Race



Thanks Chris for taking these awesome pictures!

Thanks Cousin Erica!



My cousin Erica has a screen printing business. She made these shirts for Jes and I for our first big race free of charge! Don't we look marvelous??? In case you can't read what it says, it says, "5k Virgin."

41:38


So yesterday, I got up at the crack of dawn and ventured downtown to complete my first 5k. I know, for those of you athletic types this is no big deal but for someone who's idea of a good workout used to be shopping at both malls in one day, a 5k is monumental.

It was surreal really. (I'm stealing Jes' word!) Have you ever been in line to get on a scary ride at the fair? The whole time you're standing there thinking, "Ok, I can't do this, but I am." Or, how about you're on a family trip, driving through the middle of nowhere and you have one of those Pepto moments and there's not a bathroom in sight? That was me yesterday. I didn't have to go really I just felt like I was about to embark on something I couldn't do. Then I thought, "Janie, you teach pre-k children with special needs, you CAN do this!" So, the gun went off and I ran. I ended up only walking about a half a mile. My goal next time is to not walk at all. I figure I have to start somewhere.

I'm proud of myself for finishing. I'm also thankful for my friends and family who encouraged me through out the process. My next race is May 3rd at Epcot. Its for heart disease. I'm doing this race in honor/memory of my Grandma Tucker.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Random Thoughts

Tuesday I went and met with an insurance agent regarding life and short term disability policies. Morbid topic but something that I've been putting off for years but I knew it had to be done. During the meeting I had this flashback from a time 19 or so years ago. My dad came home laughing about how his boss took out a policy on him in case he lost a finger or limb while working. He was a mechanic. Two months later, my daddy died. Needless to say, it was an uneasy meeting on Tuesday. The poor agent kept asking me if I was ok and reassuring me that this wasn't a big deal.

As I was driving to the beach yesterday I kept thinking about fears I have. Some, because of life's little experiences are legitimate, others not so much. As a Christian I try every day to put my faith in God and hope that He'll pull me through. He has in the past... but there are times when I feel uneasy.

This weekend seeing Thomas in the hospital made my heart ache. There was nothing we could do to help him. He didn't understand what was going on and all we could do was hold him and reassure him that everything was going to be all right. At one point, with tears in her eyes, my sister said, "I can't even imagine the pain and anxiety parents of children with chronic illnesses must feel." I've been an ESE teacher for 10 years. I have a dear friend whose little girl has several medical needs. I read her blog, I comment and "empathize." While my comments and empathy are both sincere actions, I have absolutely no idea what she and her husband must go through on a daily basis. While Thomas' situation is like comparing apples to oranges with my friend's situation, some things remain the same. The anxiety of not knowing what will happen next. The frustration of knowing there's nothing you can do to comfort your child. I guess, there again, is where you give it ALL to God. Take nothing for granted and make every moment count. I admire parents. I especially admire my sister and brother-in-law. Its just so hard to believe that the girl who would lose her cat in the mountainous clutter of her bedroom and the boy who had to be taught that Nirvana t-shirts and Rustler jeans were NOT considered dressing up turned out to be two fabulous parents.

A silly fear I have is being arrested. So far, I haven't had any reason to be arrested and so far I haven't been. I guess I watch too much Lifetime television but it is a fear just the same.

A legitimate fear I have is being overcome with depression. Due to life's circumstances there have been a couple of dark times in my life but thanks to exercise, thyroid regulation, prayer, friends, family and therapy I was able to come out of those dark places. (long, grammatically incorrect sentence but you catch my drift) I have a friend of a friend who lives with chronic depression. It is a scary thing and its real. How do you help someone like that? How do you help them help themselves?

Again, I guess that's where one's faith comes into play.

Pics




Some friends from high school came into town this past weekend. I met up with them Saturday night for a quick visit. We had a good time catching up and reminiscing(sp) about old times. Sorry the one picture is sideways but I'm tired and didn't feel like turning it around. I had never had an apple martini before then. I should never have tried it. It tasted like an apple Jolly Rancher. I also enjoyed a very cold beer. It made me realize just how much I miss cold beer!

Thomas' Stay at TMH

Molly and Eric took Thomas to the doctor Friday for what looked like a spider bite on his left shoulder. The doctor put him on an antibiotic. By Saturday morning the redness had spread and he was continuing to spike a high fever. So, they admitted him to the hospital. By 4pm they gave him an IV and was pumping full of antibiotics. Dr. Crooms did surgery to remove the pocket around 7pm Saturday night. Thomas came out of the surgery pretty good. He was starving and very thirsty since he hadn't had anything to eat since 10am that morning. When he came out of anesthea (sp??) he said to the doctor, "tea? tea?" The doctor came out to get Molly and Eric and asked who "tea" was. He meant he wanted him some unsweatened iced tea! Of course he got himself some tea. He also ate a grilled cheese, a
chicken breast and french fries. The nurses have all been really sweet to him. Of course, how could you not be sweet to that precious baby? When he was admitted to the hospital he was wearing his Crocs so a nurse rounded up a pair of Christmas socks for him to wear. He was a trooper through it all. He charmed everyone with his smile and wave. Sunday morning the lab results came back saying it was MRSA. The doctors discharged Thomas on Monday afternoon. So far so good. We're keeping our fingers crossed that he will continue to heal. The scary thing is, Molly has no idea where he contracted it from. Please pray for a quick recovery and for Molly and
Eric to get some rest. As busy as Thomas is, I have a feeling this is just the beginning of many more adventures involving Thomas Ralph Clore!
Here are some pics of his stay in the hospital:




Spring Break '08!

In the past, Spring Break for me was spent drinking beer and lying on the beach. While I did have a beer or two, this Spring Break was somewhat different... Mom, Molly and I made plans to go to a resort for Spring Break with Thomas, but things changed when Thomas had to go to the hospital. Since Thomas couldn't swim and he needed to be under his doctor's supervision we decided to stay home.

Friday night I had dinner with some great friends from Jacksonville. I went out with some friends from high school on Saturday night. I met with my trainer twice this week to practice running for my 5k. I was able to clean off my backporch. I exercised ALOT. On Wednesday I drove out to Apalachicola to do some window shopping. I love that little town. There is so much character there. On my way home I stopped in Carabelle and went swimming at the beach. It was freezing ass cold but I didn't care. I was determined to swim and I did! The bathrooms were of course under construction so I had to change in my car. Thank God I've lost so much weight. Its alot easier to be discreet! Jes and I did some shopping today. Tomorrow, I'm taking Thomas to the Jr. Museum. Saturday is my first big race. My cousin Erica made me a shirt that says, "5K Virgin." I can't wait to wear it. Maybe it'll attract some men. Finally, Sunday will need to be spent getting ready for work, YUCK!!!

Weightloss Transformation

I'm sure you're getting sick of me talking about my diet, exercise and losing weight but it's my blog and well, that's whats on my mind so here goes... AGAIN!!! I was going through some pictures and came across some photos I took during this journey. I'm glad I found them because today I was in the dressing room trying on workout clothes and I kept seeing my flaws rather my accomplishments. I've gotten impatient with myself. I didn't gain this weight overnight and I have to remember I can't lose it overnight. I have to remember that I've lost 37.6 pounds in a little over 3 months! I haven't been under 200 pounds in nearly 10 years!!!! I can run 3 miles in 13 minutes without losing a lung or having a heart attack. I can feel my breast bone, cheek bones AND if I search in the right place, I can even find my hip bones! The best part about this diet is that I haven't had to wear my Sea Bands for nausea in like 2 months!

Anyway, my weightloss is beginning to taper off so the weightloss nurse suggested I do a 3 day cheat to shock my body. This means for 3 days I eat things I've been "missing" out on like bread, ice cream, pasta without over doing it. After the 3 days, I have to go back to my normal routine. I sure hope it works. I was really scared to try it for fear I'd OD on things I use to crave. Its really funny because last night for dinner I ate a sub from Publix with the bread. Afterwards, I felt sick. Tonight, Jes and I went to Logan's and I ate a yeast roll for the first time in 3 months. I expected to have that near heaven feeling. Nothing happened. I did however have the worst heartburn ever. I also felt heavy and tired. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to getting back on track.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

5k anybody???

Seriously, I'm trying to do at least one 5k a month. Eventually I want to do a 10k and a triathlon but I figure small steps are good right now. If anybody knows of any races where they live or elsewhere, please let me know. I'd especially like to do one for autism, cerebral palsy, emmanuel syndrome and heart disease. If I plan ahead of time, I would love to travel to race!

Don't Laugh, I've Lost 37 pounds!

So, its too damn hot to run outside. I broke down and joined a gym. Monday I met with a trainer and she suggested I take some classes. I also scheduled to meet her on Friday to go over a personal weightlifting plan for me. I really need to tone and improve my running endurance.

I once had a student I will call "Bo." Bo was diagnosed Educably Mentally Handicapped, but he didn't know that. We all pushed him just as hard as the other kiddos, just at his own pace. He also had a vision problem and would run into things. None of that ever stopped Bo. Bo was enthusiastic about everything. Everytime you would see him, he would be grinning from ear to ear. He gave the best hugs, too. One winter his parents put him in soccer. He would run the opposite way but it didn't matter. He loved the game.

So, Monday I took a body sculpting class. Anyway, I saw a glimpse of Bo in myself this past Monday during class. At first I had to remind myself this was a new class. All I had to do was try. Once I got into it, I started grinning from ear to ear. The instructor must of thought I was nuts. Here I was offbeat and sweating like a pig exercising and all I could was smile big! As I worked out all I could think about was the weight I have lost thus far and just how much energy I have. At one point, I even rolled right off the exercise ball. I didn't cry or run out of the room. Nope, I laughed and got back on the damn thing. I guess I need a t-shirt that says, "Don't laugh, I've lost 37 pounds!"

As for my special students, people will often ask me how I can do what I do. Some people even ask me what the quality of life is for the kiddos I teach. Now granted, there are some kiddos whose quality of life will indeed suck because of choices their parents have or will make but for the most part, for kids like "Bo" the sky's the limit. If we all strive to set high expectations and meet them where they are, they will soar. Not only that, but they bring a ton of joy to everyone around them and great memories for later. I taught Bo over 4 years ago and he still holds a special place in my heart.

Belly Dancing Vs. Pole Dancing???

My friend Kristin suggested we try belly dancing classes. She swears it gives you a full body workout and cleanses your karma therefore giving you inner peace. So, another friend of mine, Amber, met Kristin and I last night for belly dancing lessons. For some reason I couldn't get Jes or Staci to go with us. Amber's husband laughed when we told him. He suggested we stick with the pole dancing. (just a joke, I have never been pole dancing)

Anyway, we went. Now mind you, I am the most uncoordinated person ever. I would probably get kicked off of a Special Olympics team I'm so clumsy. But, I figured what the heck, I'd try it. The class started 30 minutes late and while the instructor was good at what she was doing, she was too much into her job. She decided I'd be her special project and kept critiquing me. Halfway through I decided this wasn't something I'd be doing ever again. It was a learning experience and, as a result, Amber and I have decided that we definitely have to take pole dancing lessons in order to compare the two. I'm sure the pole dancing lessons would benefit me a whole lot more than the belly dancing!

In special ed, if a student doesn't receive a regular diploma they get what's called a special diploma. These students don't take the FCAT. They take an alternative assessment and based on their performance receive a certain level. I can't remember all the levels but they're something like, "supportive," "participatory," etc. Anyway, my belly dancing abilities are such that I wouldn't have even received a score on an alternative assessment!