This One's For the Parents!

I think its Martina McBride that sings a song called, "This Ones For the Girls." She goes through the stages of womanhood beginning with teenage worries to old lady blues. All along the way, she cheers on women of all ages. I'm changing it up a bit and calling my entry, "This One's For the Parents."

When people ask what I do for a living and I tell that I teach pre-school aged children with "severe" disabilities I usually get a look of awe and a comment like, "It takes a special person to teach kids like that." Sometimes, I get a look of pity and a comment like, "I don't know how you do that day after day. I'd think that's depressing." And to that comment, Well, I'll admit that there are days when I've changed one too many stinky diapers or chased down one too many kiddos and I want to throw in the towel. Honestly, aside from teaching high school ESE (which those people should get an extra special place in heaven) this has got to be the most exhausting job I've ever had. The progress is slow, if any. Our facility is below standards. I'm CONSTANTLY second guessing myself: things like... If I'd have shown him the picture of the bus 4 times before it actually arrived we could have avoided a tantrum, is it really necessary to make him pull up his own pants if it pisses him off that bad? You get the picture.

Then there are the days when I realize that it is worth it. Days like Friday when a student signed "more" for the first time in the year and a half we've had him, or when another child said, "Hi, Janie." When I walked into the room.

Oh yeah, my point to this blog... see how self-absorbed I am? The parents. Way too many times, as teachers we place blame on the parents. I'll admit it. I've been that self-rightous-never-been-a-parent-but-I'll-sure-as-hell-judge-you-on-your-parenting-techniques kind of person. This year has been an eye-opener for me. We have NO IDEA what these parents go through. I've been quick to blame parents for their child's headbutting or screaming. Then I step back and think about my evening and compare it to theirs. I get off of work at 3:30pm, go to Wal-Mart alone buy whatever I want for dinner, walk in the park or visit a friend alone, have my dinner in front of the t.v., and go to bed when I'm ready, AFTER taking a bubble bath of course. Most of these parents are single, working until 5 or 6pm, driving 30-45minutes to and from work, have more than one child, and barely any time for themselves. Bubble baths are NOT an option because their child with autism can't be left unnattended and heaven forbid he go to sleep before 2:00am! Buying what they want for dinner? Not when you have a child on a gluten-free diet. Am I saying that these are excuses for parents of children with severe disabilities. Not at all. What I am saying is my hat goes off to each and everyone of them. Instead of placing blame, its my job to work alongside of them to help curb the headbutting and screaming. Its my job to point out the good things these parents do, like signing their notes everyday, sending their child to school clean and on time.

Back to the beginning of my blog. Yep, it takes a special person to teach these kids, but it takes an even more special parent to parent them. I go home at 3:30pm. Parents have nights, weekends and long-term care to think about. As for second-guessing, I can't imagine what goes through these parents' minds. I commend these parents. God has placed these special kids in your hands for a reason.

Ramblings of a Pre-K ESE Teacher

Happy Fall, Friends! I love this time of year. The leaves are turning colors, the humidity is dropping (wishful thinking) and it means one day closer to Christmas break!!!! I just had the urge to ramble so I figured I would. I've been in my new house for about 5 weeks now. I love it! Some nights I just sit on the couch and look up at my vaulted ceilings in awe. Please don't take this as me being vain. Nope, I'm very grateful for what I have. I know I didn't do it alone. Its just funny to think about how far I've come. My friend Maggie and I were laughing the other day about how we used to barely make rent each month (it was $280 for each of us!) It wasn't funny back then but it sure makes me feel good now.

I've had 3 housewarming parties. I LOVE having people over. I am very blessed and thankful to have so many wonderful people in my life. My brother-in-law and step-dad have also put alot of sweat into this place. I'm pretty much unpacked and have pictures on the wall. I have a big empty space above my sofa though. I'm keeping that space free in hopes of one day putting something really special there. That's all I'm going to say b/c I already sound like a huge dork!

Have you noticed just how many pregnant women are walking around out there? No offense to any of them at all. Its just funny, because for some strange reason, hormonal maybe, I'm going through this baby phase. There are days when I see these pregnant women and envy them. Don't worry, Its NOT going to happen. For one, Mr. Right has NOT fallen from the sky and two because of that I don't want to raise a kid alone for fear of screwing him or her up. I also know that pregnancy and childbirth are no day at the beach. I'm not crazy. I'm sure it's just a phase.

Other ramblings... you know, I never dreamed that I'd ever be settled enough to buy a house. For me, buying meant staying put, being trapped. I don't feel like that anymore. Which makes me wonder if maybe, just maybe, I can actually date without getting that sick feeling in my stomach, you know the one, where you're not sure whether you want to puke or do the other. The problem is where to meet guys. I'm too old and tired to go out clubbing, all my exes are married with kiddos, and church... nope, not happening (they're just not there.) I was waiting to lose lots of weight before finding someone but that's a pipe dream. I'm me, 5'3, size 16-18 (ok, ok, mostly 18-20) and I'm tired of feeling bad about myself for being a big girl. Its just not healthy.

I think that's about it. If you're ever in the neighborhood stop by! Love, J