The House On 59 Chickat Trail

I think I've finally decided to put my house up for rent and move in with Josh. I'm going to list it with a realty company so that I don't have to deal with crazy rentors. Please pray that I can even find somebody to rent it and that they will take somewhat decent care of the place.

The other day I was thinking about this house and just how much I love it. I've been going back and forth about this move because for one, it was such a big deal for me to buy this place and two, its mine... (well, actually it belongs to Chase for 29 more years) but what I mean is, I decorated it to my likings, I picked it out, and well, you get the picture.

It didn't hit me until this morning while I was getting ready for work, that this house has served it purpose. When I bought it, I was at a point in my life where I thought I'd never get married and I needed to make some plans for the future and settle down. Buying this house made me feel like I had accomplished something. It helped fill some of the emptiness in my life. Unbeknown (spelling?) to me, the man of my dreams was living 27 miles away and I was teaching with his cousin!

After thinking about the purpose this house has served I started thinking about the other numerous places I've lived and despite how small or old they were I always seemed to make them feel homey.

Ironically today, Amber brought in this cd recording of her pastor's sermon from last Sunday. In it he talked about worldly possessions and how none of them really matters. What matters is loving God and being in His will. The pastor also talked about being with/doing things for the people you love. That made me think of Josh. I truly love him and I feel at home when I'm at his house. I can decorate his house and make it just as homey as my house on 59 Chickat Trail.

Now that I've blogged my guts out about this matter, please pray that I don't have a panic attack and change my mind,lol!

I pity the day when...

my nephew Thomas plays team sports. Tonight I went out in the freezing cold to watch Noah, my oldest nephew play soccer. He is really good at it, by the way. Anyway, this bigger kid on the other team kept elbowing the players on Noah's team when they came in contact with the ball. I don't know much about sports but I do know that in soccer you are NOT supposed to touch the players. The coach from Noah's team discussed this with the refs at half time and they just laughed and shrugged it off. I'm not quite sure what came over me but when I saw the kid elbow Noah I jumped up and yelled as loud as I could, "get your hands off of him." It was sheer divine intervention that I didn't curse b/c those of you who know me, know that I have the mouth of a sailor. It was sort of funny the way it all happened because I didn't even think twice. I just instinctually yelled. I have a feeling I'm going to be the mom that's banned from the field!

Family Pic

Here is a picture we took on Christmas day. Again... bittersweet... bitter without my daddy, but ever so sweet because of Josh, Eric and Thomas. Anyway, I love this picture. I just notice that I think both Eric and Josh's eyes are closed. Too funny!

Hunting 101

I forgot to blog about my hunting experience back in November. While it was great to spend the day with Josh, let's just say I've decided that is his thing and from now on, we will leave it at that. He can hunt and I'll shop.

In case you ever decide to go hunting here are a few things I learned from my short lived experience...
1. take a bucket and a tarp in case you have to go potty (I'm not talking about peeing, if you catch my drift.)
2. take along a cell phone, books, magazines and/or a laptop (you will sit for hours!)
3. bring a lot of snacks (just incase the dogs get lost and you have to wait around to find them)

It ended up pouring down rain that afternoon and the only thing we saw was an 8 foot gator! I think Josh planned that so that I would never want to go with him again, lol! He asks me from time to time with a big grin on his face if I want to go and I politely tell him "h*!l no"

Christmas 2008

This Christmas was bittersweet. It marked the 20th anniversary (if that's the correct wording) of my daddy's death. It was also my first Christmas with Josh. He bought a beautiful diamond necklace along with some other things. He also gave me a card that he wrote a sweet message inside of. I sound shallow talking about the gifts. It wasn't the gifts that made it so special it was him being there. He helped me decorate my Christmas tree. He made gingerbread cookies for my kiddos at school. He also met my mom's side of the family and lived to tell about it! I'm not sure how I got so lucky to find such a good guy but I did. I've never had anyone treat me so good or make me feel the way he does. Maybe that's why this Christmas was so bittersweet. My sister said she sort of felt the same way this year. Life is going really well. So well that its scary. I know I can't live life in fear of what tomorrow will bring but its so hard not to. There were times this holiday season that I cried for no apparent reason. Looking back I think it was the fear of losing something so wonderful. Poor Josh, he's a trooper. I hope that I get better about this in time.

This is my favorite picture so far. It was taken on Christmas Eve. I'm not sure why Josh looks so red. He's not really!

Updates

I haven't blogged about anything serious in quite a while. The funny thing is I have a ton to blog about but am unsure how to put it all in words. Where to begin... Thanksgiving weekend Josh asked me about moving in with him. While I'm excited about this I am also scared as hell. First of all, I've been on my own for quite a while now. I love spending time with Josh but I also like that when I need a break I can go back to my house. Then there's the fact that there is no way I can sell my house with the way the market is right now. I think I can rent it out but my fear is that I can't. And if I can't, I can't afford to help Josh with his mortgage. (He laughed when I told him that and said that I'd be investing in our future by continuing to pay on my mortgage and not to worry about that.) However, my pride continues to get in the way...

On a positive note, its funny how comfortable I feel at his house. Its warm and you can tell that its seen alot of love over the years. It does need some cosmetic surgery but I think I can handle that. The house used to belong to his mom and dad so it's still decorated exactly the way his mom left it before she died. I explained to Josh that I feel like I'd be imposing if I came in and redecorated. He said he thought his mom would appreciate me changing things. We shall see... I've been doing things little by little. My plan is to wait until hunting season is over to make any major decisions about renting my place out and/or encouraging Josh to fix his place up.

One of my biggest fears about moving was lifted tonight at dinner. I was so afraid to talk to my mom about moving. I don't know why. I guess I was afraid I would disappoint her. This move would mean me moving 25 miles away from her and me giving up a house I worked so hard to get. My step-dad jokingly said to me tonight, "isn't about time for you to sell your house? You're never there." I casually mentioned that I didn't have enough equity in it but had thought about renting it out. My mom didn't even looked shocked. She said that would be a good idea until the market got better. I said I was scared to rent it out though for fear that things wouldn't work out between me and Josh and I'd be homeless. She rolled her eyes and said that I'd always have a place to live. So, now that I have her blessing, I feel much better.

While I love my house and am extremely grateful to have it, its just that... a house. It feels empty. When I'm at Josh's I feel warm. Not to mention the fact that I'm 12 minutes away from Osaka's, my favorite sushi restaurant!

Bottom line... I'm going to keep praying about it. We will see what the future holds.