25 weeks and counting!

I thought making it to the 25th week would bring me peace of mind. I guess, in a way, it did but on the other hand, there's still this lingering feeling that anything can happen. I know I need to let go and let God handle this. Being the control freak that I am, its quite difficult to do this.

I'm seriously thinking about going on medication after Jadie Kate is born. I'll wait and see if things get better but I have people tell me it won't. I'll just find more things to worry about.

We rented a doppler back in June and let me tell you, its the best $40 a month investment we could have made. Not only can you hear the heartbeat, but it tells you the beats per minute. I am also feeling her move more and more so that is reassuring as well.

I officially go back to work on August 11th. I've been spending a day or two here and there working in my classroom for the past couple of weeks though. There is so much to do to get ready. I'm anxious about that too. I'm not sure why. Its not like this is my first rodeo. I guess I just want November 3rd to be here so I can relax a little bit. Maybe going back to work will help the time go by faster.

Doctor McKinnie will induce me at 39 weeks if I want her to, so it looks like my due date will be October 27th. I'm all for it. Now, our next decision is whether or not to induce or go the C-section route. As of now, we really have no physical reason to go the C-section route. Mentally, I want one because I believe its the fastest, safest way to have my baby girl in my arms. We have 12+ weeks to decide, so in the meantime I am going to pray about it and see what happens. Jadie Kate seems to have a mind of her own, so she may very well make that decision for us, lol!

The emotions I feel these days are none like I've ever had before. Well, I guess I've had them, just not all at once. I am missing my JD, but comforted to know that he is still here in spirit. He reassures me daily by sending me a butterfly or some other sign. I have so much love for Josh these days. He is so patient with me and tries so hard. Good things really do come to those who wait, lol! Which makes me grateful that we have a forgiving God who despite some of the stupid things I've done in my life, He led me here to all of this happiness. Then, there is the excitement and out of control feelings I have for Jadie Kate. I am so thankful for the chance to possibly be a mom to a live, screaming baby. I guess all of these emotions explain why there are times I just burst into tears for no apparent reason, huh?