Dating, Weddings, Babies...

(Me and Molly at her shower. 1/13/07)

You get the picture! I guess things aren't necessarily done in that order these days, but for me, I'd like to believe that would be the order. So, I've signed up on Match.com...AGAIN. I swore I wouldn't do it again, but I'm lonely and I'd like to have a date or two. Don't worry, I'm not settling. If its not in God's plan for me to marry, then I'll be single, but until He Fedex's me a note telling me to stop trying, I've got to meet some men! I sure don't meet them in my line of work and generally on the rare occasions when I do go out, I find men only wanting booty calls. I'm too old for that and besides, its just not safe. I was going to wait until I lost a bunch of weight but you know, that may never happen so I've got to start living.

This isn't a "feel sorry for me" entry, I just felt like writing about it. I guess because we gave Molly (my sister) a baby shower this weekend or it could be because I went wedding shopping with a friend who's getting married in July. Another friend of mine, Maggie is getting married in May to her high school sweetheart. What are the chances that two people go their separate ways only to reconnect after 10 years?!! I am thrilled for them. She has asked me to be her maid of honor and I couldn't be more happy about it. I'm even more honored because its a VERY small wedding and I'm included on the list to invite. My nephew is due the first week of March, but my sister is getting so big, that her doctor thinks that he may take the baby around the 15th of February. I am so excited! I plan to spoil him rotten. (within limits of course) Molly looks so beautiful but I swear if somebody put a pin in her she'd pop! She's having trouble breathing because her belly is so big.

You know, my therapist asked me the other day if I was jealous because my sister is having a baby and my friends are getting married. I don't think so. I'm really happy for them. Selfishly, I'm happy for me too because I get to celebrate in their joy. Yeah, I'm lonely at times, but I'm an optimist and I know that God just isn't finished grooming my man yet. He's going to have to be pretty special to deal with me!

Resilient

So the other day, after feeling like a leech glued to Maggie and L.R.'s couch (remember I was sick) I decided to stop being a slug and get up and go outside. It was about 11:30am on Thursday. Nice and sunny but still cool enough that one needed a jacket. I was only going to the mailbox and the trash bin so I figured I didn't need a jacket. The apartment complex parking lot was empty so I didn't bother to put a bra on. I was going to be quick right? (sorry, don't picture it, but as my friend Wendi would say, "I'm setting the stage.") Well, wouldn't you know it, the door locked behind me!!!! There I was, white as lightening, in flannel boxer shorts, an oversized pink FSU t-shirt, socks and my Nikes. No cell phone, no money, nothing! When I was a girl scout leader the first thing I taught my girls was to NEVER go anywhere without a cell phone! Not to mention the fact that my grandma is probably doing somersaults in her grave for me going out of the house without a bra. Well, I had to do something. So, I folded my arms over my chest and went to the neighbors' house and knocked. No answer. Damn, where were those college kids when you needed them. So, I went to the next house and knocked. A little old lady pulled the door open just enough to look out and say, "Can I help you?" I humbly explained my situation and asked if I could use the phone. Now, let me tell you. In Florida, especially where I was raised, you don't let strange people into your home. Not only did the lady let me in, but she offered me something to drink and let me sit in her warm living room until somebody could come and let me in. Now that's hospitality. Not to mention brave.

Oh, so the reason for the title of my entry, resilient. That's what Maggie called me when she got home. She said, " You sure are resilient." Yeah, I'm resilient all right, but WHY when things like that happen to me, do I cry? I cried when I called to ask for help. I had the best visit with Maggie but spent most of Thursday crying as I was preparing to leave. Its not like I won't see her again. I guess its my anxiety getting the best of me. I'm such a cry baby that I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to continue our friendship. You know, I've cried my whole life and I hate it. I feel weak and out of control. The funny thing is, if I see someone else crying I don't consider them weak or crazy. Well, that's about it for now. Just thought I'd get that off of my chest. Love you, Janie

Happy Holidays!

I hope everybody had a great Christmas and Happy New Year! My Christmas was uneventful, which if you know my family, this is a good thing. I enjoyed spending Christmas day with my mom, step-dad, grandma, aunt, uncle and cousins. My cousin Erica brought her two daughters over. The oldest one is 16 months and the baby is about 6 weeks old. They are adorable! I almost got baby fever. Remember I said, 'Almost.' It faded shortly after I realized that if I was holding the baby and keeping the 16 month old from climbing on the table I couldn't eat. My niece and nephew gave me a month's worth of tai kwon do lessons and the white suit that goes with it for Christmas. This should be a comical experience for everyone. I am NOT coordinated! I also got a new gameboy and other cool stuff.

I celebrated the New Year with a very dear friend of mine and her fiance in West Va. We went to a hibache restaurant for dinner. I barely made it up for New Years though, due to a nasty cold I've contracted. I'm quite pissed. I take a ton of preventative meds and still I get sick! Nevertheless, I am having a great time visiting them. I just pray that they don't catch my creeping crud. I've been sanitizing things like crazy. I love West Virginia. I love the people, the history and mountains. No snow this time. I was really hoping for some. I've done some shopping too. I don't know what it is but I always find great deals on clothes in my size here! Its a big girl's dream come true! Well, I should go. Take Care! J