Been A While

Its been a while since I posted last. Looking back, I didn't realize just how much I really struggled through the month of January. Heck, who am I kidding... the past four months have been very dark. I am so thankful to my family, friends and wonderful husband who have supported me and carried me through. I know people have been praying for us and we are soooo appreciative.

Special thanks to Wendi and her gang for the beautiful flowers they sent me on my due date. Amber and Carolyn had a vinyl cling of a beautiful butterfly made and I put it on the back of my car in memory of JD.

I finally mustered up the courage to attend a support group for early loss that meets monthly. I think this will be a good thing. I've also been going to Babycenter.com and have joined a number of support groups on there.

I was contacted by Healthy Start a few weeks ago. They asked me to be apart of a research project to help prevent early loss. I agreed. They are going to put JD's name on a quilt. They will carry the quilt in the walk they have in October for Early Loss. I am honored to be apart of the project. I know JD was loved and validated by our family and friends but by taking part in this project, it validates his existence from others in society.

As far as the future goes...still not sure what God has planned for us in regards to being parents. I met with the endo a couple of weeks ago and she pulled up some research related to what the doctors think happened to us. After reading over it, I'm still left dumbfounded... yep, there is a correlation, but the chances of what happened is very rare. So basically we can try again but there are no guarantees. These days, there are no guarantees with anything. I meet with my OB this Friday to make a plan. YOu know me, I'm a planner. I'll be 35 in a few months and I want to have a plan. It only took us 2 tries with JD but I don't know if we will be so lucky the next time.

So, that's where we are at.