My Kind of Normal

Hi there! Last night I met a guy I have been talking to on the phone for the first time at City Place. I was already nervous about our first meeting, and then to top things off, it took me 20 minutes to find a parking spot at City Place! I live less than 10 minutes from downtown and I allowed my self 30 minutes to get there and find a place to park. I ended up being about 10 minutes late! Oh well!! I have to admit I looked pretty good though. Did you know Jessica Simpson sponsors a brand of jeans for big girls? Nice Job, Jes. So I wore my Jessica jeans, a pink tank with lace and irredescent trim with one of those short black sweaters over the top. The evening was nice. We walked around City Place and then sat outside at Barnes and Nobles and talked for about an hour and a half. AFterwards he took me to Palm Beach for a tour. We sat on the boardwalk and talked some more. He's a great guy. He is thoughtful, friendly and laid back, yet as the evening progressed all I could think about was getting home. My anxiety kicked in big time. I kept telling myself, "this is terrific. You should be calm." I was worried about not knowing what to talk about next, what would happen next (you know sitting on the boardwalk, looking at stars...)To top it off, I had left my car in the parking garage at City Place and was afraid I would be locked in. I keep forgetting I'm in South Florida and places don't shut down around here until about 5am. Anyway, it was a terrific evening so what the hell is wrong with me? Am I normal? Do other people feel this way when they go on dates for the first time. (Geez, I sound like Sara Jessica Parker from Sex in the City)

You know though, a friend of mine has a blog entitled, "My New Normal." Her blog is all about her life as a mother to the most precious little girl with special needs. I think I may steal her title and modify it a bit. For me, its gonna be, "My Kind of Normal." For me, its normal to want to leave a date early because that means that I'm in control of the situation, something we people with anxiety like to be in. Silence does scare me because growing up that meant somebody was angry with me. When I'm silent it scares me because I fear being called, "distant." The bottom line is, whoever spends time with me, will have to appreciate me for me and be patient. It'll pay off because I am definitely worth it! p.s. my date ended with the most wonderful kiss!