My Autobiography

So, a friend of mine had this on her myspace page since I'm self-absorbed and all, I thought I'd cut and paste it to mine and fill it out for myself.

Part 1: The Birth of You:
Were you a planned baby?: no, I think somebody forgot the condoms
Were you the first?: Yes
Who was present at your birth?: My mom and dad (I think), the doc and nurses. Were your parents married when you were born?: Yes. 9 months to the day!
What is your birthdate?: May 26th

Part 2: The Family
How would you describe your family?: Co-dependent and loyal.
Are your parents married? no, my mom's a widow
Siblings or an only child?: 1 sister
If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?: Oldest
What are your siblings names and ages?: Molly age 27
Which parent do you get along with best?: Mom
What do you fight about?: Nothing now.
Do you have step parents?: Yep, my step-dad, Gene

Part 3: The Friends
Do you have more than one best friend?: Sort of
Who are your best friends?: Jes, Wendi, Maggie, Julie O. (I have several very dear friends as well)
What do you like to do when you are together?: shop, gossip, used to drink with Maggie and Julie
Do you share the same interests?: For the most part, Yes
Which friend can you tell anything to?: All of them but it just depends on if I want an honest reaction or not as to who I tell what to

Part 4: Your Personality
How high/low is your self esteem?: My self-esteem hangs around the middle.
Are you an extrovert or an introvert?: It depends on the situation
Are you happy?: Pretty much.
Do you live life to the fullest?: Yep.

Part 5: Appearance
Are you comforable with the way you look?: After 31 years, yep!
Do you have any piercings besides your ears?: I used to have a belly button ring. Its just not attractive on people of size.
Describe your hair.: sort of a bob cut auburn color growing out
What make-up do you wear?: Clinique
How do you dress?: Pretty casually.

Part 6: The Past
Were you a strange child?: Yes, I thought way too deep into things. Way to mature for a kid.
What did you use to love that you no longer do?: fair rides, now they make me puke and getting drunk at Stetson's
Do you have the same friends?: pretty much
Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?: my dad's death at the age of 12

Part 7: The Future
What is your ambition?: Get married, be a mom and/or become an administrator for the school district
Are you scared of growing old?: I think a little
Do you want to get married?: Yep. but if not, I'm ok.

Part 8: The Outdoors
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: Depends on where that outdoors is.
What is your favorite season?: Fall
Do you like walking in the rain?: yes

Part 9: Food
Are you a vegentarian?: Heck no.
What is your favorite fruit?: anything covered in chocolate or candy apples
What food makes you want to gag?: cantalope for starters.
What is your favorite dessert?: Cheesecake Factory Oreo Cheesecake
What is your favorite restaurant?: Osaka's
Are you a fussy eater?: no

Part 10: Relationships and Love
Are you single or taken?: single
If taken who is the lucky guy/girl?: I'm still waiting on him.
Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?: It's got to be.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Yes
Part 11: Experiences
What was one of your greatest experiences?: becoming an aunt
What was one of your worst?:My Grandma T. dying and me not being there for her during that time
Have you ever done drugs?: Yes,but nothing hardcore.
Have you ever thought you were going to die?: Once.
Have you ever suffered from depression?: Yes.

All in a Day's Work!

So, I went to dinner with a friend of mine I hadn't seen in almost 2 years. I was nervous about meeting him since it had been so long ago and since that time I had discovered the Cheesecake Factory, lol! You know, it takes hard work to look this good. We women sure do go through alot to care for ourselves. I bet I clogged up my pipes today with all the shaving I did! Then when I got out the tub, I had to put on like 3 different creams! Vitamin E on my scars, some $50 cream on my vitiligo and let's not forget the 3 step process from Clinique for my face. I worked hard to coordinate my undergarments with my outergarments. Which when you think about it, is just plain funny b/c I sure didn't put out. So he didn't see any of it anyway. I guess I did all those things for the satisfaction of knowing I looked and felt like a million dollars.

Massage Therapy

So Friday after school I went and got one of those hot stone massages. I used to get massages every 3 weeks but since I bought my house its been like 2 months. When I called to make the appointment the lady asked me if I had a preference over a man or woman. I said no, I really didn't care. Believe or not, I'm pretty comfortable with my body these days. Its taken alot of doughnuts to get to where I am. Just kidding. I have to say I love my body. I'm thankful that it gets me place to place without being in excruciating pain. Scars from recent surgeries remind me that I am cancer-free. The extra padding makes for a nice place for my nephew to lay his head when he is sleepy. And the vitiligo... well, it gives people something to talk about.

Anyway, the guy came in to do the massage and let's just say I was not impressed. I've had massages from men before and this was just plain terrible. It was almost like he was repulsed by my body. I can't explain it really, but if you've ever had a massage you know what I talking about. It was like he was just going through a routine not really caring that it was a person he was working on. The doctor who cut on breast was more gentle than he was.

I'm not quite sure the point of this entry except to say that to be a massage therapist one should appreciate different body types.

What is sexy anyway?

I was playing around with the camara tonight making different faces just cutting the fool. I looked at one, thinking the shot would be sexy and burst out laughing. (Don't worry, I wasn't doing anything wierd just making faces, all clothes on.) Instead of looking sexy, I looked pissed and to top it off, my double chin looked worse than ever. I don't think there is anything sexy about me. I'm beautiful, funny and cute, but definitely NOT sexy. Maybe sexy, like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, I guess I'll just have to wait.

Ever-Changing Perceptions

So I was driving by our local funeral home today when I noticed a few cars parked in the back. This is the same funeral home that planned my daddy's funeral. I got this horrible lump in my throat and my chest felt heavy. All I could think was, "How shitty to have to plan a funeral at Christmas." Then with tears streaming down my face, I laughed out loud and thought... "Yep, it is pretty shitty. I know, b/c I did it, on Christmas day at the age of 12 years old for my father." This is by no means a "feel sorry for Janie" entry. Nope, just sharing. Its funny the things one remembers from one's childhood. I am blessed to say that I don't have too many traumatic experiences to remember.

My mom and I were driving home from Tally tonight and reminiscing (I need to learn to spell that word!) over old times. She said to me, "I never realized just how disfunctional our lives were while I was raising you guys. I guess I went through the motions blindsighted." I laughed at her and said, "well, you did a mighty fine job covering up the disfunctionality." My sister and I went to one of the best private schools in West Palm Beach. We always had plenty of food, clean clothes and all that we needed. I remember thinking how sad I was for some of my friends at school. One girl couldn't see her mom b/c her mom was a bad alcoholic. Another friend got beat for making bad grades. I never knew we were disfunctional. Sure, my dad was an alcoholic but he never abused us and he always worked. My mom devoted her whole life to us. She waited 13 years to date other men after his death! Its funny, different people's perceptions. Better yet, its funny how people's perceptions can change. There were years that I resented my mom, thinking she was suffocating me b/c she was so protective. I see now why she did what she did. I wouldn't change a thing.

Ramblings

Tomorrow is the Friday before Christmas break. Most of my teacher friends hate getting out for Christmas so late. I like it because it keeps me busy all the way up until Christmas. My daddy died December 24, 1988. Perhaps you're thinking, "geez its been 19 years, get over it already." For some reason its not that easy. My friend Jes and I have a running joke that we sort of hold our breath from the day ofter Thanksgiving all the way up until December 26th for fear that something bad is going to happen. This year is going to be an interesting one. I'm not on any anxiety meds nor am in counseling. I don't think I'm acting any differently without either of the two. Sad to say, but I do feel like I'm holding my breath, exhaling ever so slowly, trying to enjoy the holidays yet very much aware that at a moment's notice, something can happen.

You know, I was driving home tonight from Tally feeling really on edge for many reasons... the weather was rainy and I was in the dark, the season in general and then the fact that there is a killer on the loose somewhere around this area who likes to kidnap women, cut their appendages (and I do mean ALL appendages off) and dump their bodies in the woods). I mean seriously, if I could have gotten ahold of some pot, it would have been mine! (ok, not really, but you catch my drift!) Then I thought, "Janie, you CAN'T live like this. What can I do to change this situation? First of all, as far as missing Daddy and Grandma, I have their memories and now we have Thomas. My aunt reminded that everyday is a gift and there is always something to look forward to. Then there was the terrible weather... well, I just have to be careful, I'm a good driver and as for the killer... I'm taking a self-defense course on Saturday, buying a gun and definitely not going anywhere alone. That's all I can do! For the sake of the family who has lost their loved one, I hope they find the bastard and let him have it.

My New House

I've been in my new house since September 15th. I guess its not new anymore. Its kind of like saying, the new Walmart, which has been open since June 2006. Anyway, as I was cleaning today I looked at the placemats and cloth napkins on my table. Its funny, b/c the purpose of placemats should be to put your plates on them and eat. Do we do that? No, when we sit down to eat we remove them from the table and use paper napkins! Are we the only family that does that?

Pictures

Last night we all dressed up in matching olive green shirts and met at J.C. Penneys for family pictures. If anybody has ever experienced family pictures you know it is like accomplishing a 5K race! Surprisingly enough, you couldn't have asked for a smoother experience. Everybody showed up ontime and in a good mood. I can't wait to get them back. We haven't had family shots taken since my mom and Gene were married in 2001.

Afterwards, we went to Logans (my favorite restaurant!). My sister and brother-in-law treated me to dinner for getting Teacher of the Year at my school. I'm sure blessed to have a great family. I love eating together as a family. Ok, enough with that. I'm starting to sound like a Publix commercial.

The Little Things

My sister and brother-in-law stopped by my house the other night to drop off my cell phone. Eric, my bro-in-law, asked Molly, "I wonder what Janie is up to tonight." Her reply, "I bet she's laying on the couch enjoying her new Direct TV." His response, "Man, she sure is lucky."

Its funny the little things in life we take for granted. My sister and brother-in-law are parents to a very active almost 10 month old baby boy. He sleeps very little and is constantly into things. While they'd NEVER trade in their precious Thomas, its funny how one can miss little things in life like vegging on the couch.

It's Taken Me 31 Years, 6 months, 3 weeks and 2 days...

Yep, that's how long its taken me to finally be OK with me! I've always known that I'm a beautiful girl, but I'm always trying to find ways to better myself. Subconsciously, I've put my life on hold thinking I'm not complete until I lose 60 pounds or I get out of debt or how about this one... I get married! Its not going to happen anymore. I am complete! I'm NOT going to do anymore fad diets or exercise until my eyeballs fall out. Now don't get me wrong, do I think its healthy to sit around watching t.v. and eating junk all day? Nope, absolutely not, but instead of weight being a constant priority, I'm going to focus on my health.

As for $$$. I'm doing the best I can. I thank God everyday that my car cranks and gets me from point A to point B. I have a fabulous job that I love and my bills are paid on time. What more can a girl ask for.

As for a man...well, if the right one comes along then great. If not, I'm not going to cry about it. Being a size 6 doesn't make a person more worthy of finding a man. I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and for the first time in a long time, I saw a gorgeous girl wearing a size 18. Her smile could knock the socks off of a GQ model! One chin or two, I'm worthy, strong and fantastic.

It's A Boy!!!

A very dear friend had her baby today. Its exciting and weird all at the same time. I said that tonight at dinner to my mom who kind of gave me a puzzled look and said, "Weird? Janie, your friends are in their 30's. They SHOULD be having babies." I just laughed at her and said, "I guess you are right." I guess she's forgotten that I'm in my 30's. So SHOULD I be having babies? HELL NO!!! Don't get me wrong, I want to be a mamma. I really want a husband. I've got a huge blank wall space above my couch just waiting for wedding pictures (really I'm not that shallow, I know there's more to marriage than wedding pics). But, I'm not going to marry any ole smuck who comes along and after teaching special kids all day, I'm sure as heck am NOT birthin' no babies on my own! A good friend of mine once said it's better to live alone than to be married and feel alone. (I think I quoted her correctly.)

I guess its weird because my friends having babies are the ones I used to spend Friday nights with at Paradise and Stetson's. They're the ones who got us free drinks by flirting. Nevermind the fact that I haven't had a sip of alcohol in probably 3 months and the last time I did, I got horrendous heart burn! LOL!

Well, that's about it, just felt like sharing that. Take Care!

Field Trip

So after a month of planning, phone calls, faxes and begging, I finally got a field trip scheduled for my kiddos. We got free admission to the Jr. Museum and thanks to Holly, we got free Happy Meals from McDonalds. Even my kiddo with the g-tube got to enjoy some ice cream! Most of you know that I teach children with severe language impairments. Some are autistic, others have chromosome disorders and some, just don't have a diagnosis. We only have 7 students but there are some days its like having 21! Because of their special needs, I really believe they need community based instruction (a fancy term for field trips), more so than the average kid.

Anyway, a couple of teachers found out about our field trip and really got upset. This is my second year at Pre-K and I didn't know that field trips were taboo. Apparently, other teachers have tried to go on field trips and they were told no. I'm not sure why, but my guess is $ and safety issues. Since we only had to pay for gas and we had 9 adults to 7 children I guess thats why we got to go. The more I think about the whole situation the madder I get. As a teacher, instead of being jealous, I would think you would be happy for my class. My program is different. Nobody else in our school has kids with the needs like mine do. Let's face it, these kids aren't going to graduate with a regular diploma. Out of 7 students, 1 parent chaperoned. For some of these kids, I think this was the first time they ate a Happy Meal! My point is, let them enjoy what little opportunities they do get. It really saddens me that people who are so-called educators think like that.

I've got to go plan something for January. Let the others be jealous!