Well, this is the 17th Christmas spent without my father. (He died on Christmas Eve, 1988) I think this is the first Christmas in a long time that went smoothly. Usually, around the week after Thanksgiving until probably January 2nd, I'm an emotional wreck. I'm ok if I stay busy, working a second job, cleaning or just doing something, but if I have down time, I cry for no apparent reason. This year, it wasn't too bad, when I started to feel sad this season instead of stopping myself, I allowed myself to feel, something I don't do alot of. Maybe the therapy is helping, who knows?
My friend Jessica and I have this private thing we share regarding the holidays (her dad died around Christmas, too.) We laugh and say how much we love the season, you know... gift giving, decorations, cool weather and time with family and friends; yet at the same time we hate it and hold our breaths beginning November 24 until January 2nd, hoping nothing bad will happen.
So, this year was a first for me... not too much grieving and while I was sad that I wasn't with my entire family and friends I was appreciative to be with the ones I encountered!
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