Cutie Pies

More cute pictures from the party... Thomas walked over to Kayleigh and put his head in her lap. He's such a flirt. At least he has great taste. She is a knock out! Then he decided to help push his cousin Belle in his new ride. Unfortunately, his cousin weighs more than he does, so they didn't get very far!

Had to post this one...

So a lady at work asked another co-worker if I had had gastric bypass. She couldn't believe how much weight I had lost. The co-worker assured her I did it without surgery. Not that I have anything against surgery. That was next step if this past diet hadn't of worked! Anyway, Chris was taking random shots at the party on Monday and so I thought I had to post this one. Jes has lost 30plus pounds since January and I've lost 45. Chris looks pretty hot too but I don't have a pic of him. (I mean that in a brotherly way,lol!) Anyway, I guess I'm vain but I'm so thankful to have lost this weight.

Don't Mess With Me!

Jess or Chris took this picture at my party this past Monday. If you look closely at Thomas' shoulder you can see his scar from the surgery he had over spring break. The picture is humorous. He's got Doritoes on his face, but he still looks tough... shirtless and showing off his scar. The look on his face is the look he gives just before he's about to do something mischievious, like pull hair or run from you. Gotta love the crazy kid!

What Dreams Are Made Of!

I've been dying to get a picture of Kayleigh, Noah and Thomas together. For some reason it just never works out. So I got the best birthday ever... all three kiddos together for a photo shoot. They are so adorable!

What a Great Day!

I had a fantastic birthday weekend. Yes, I said weekend. Maybe its because I'm the first born, or maybe its because my Grandma Tucker made me feel like I was the reason the sun rises and sets each day, I don't know what it is but I felt the need to celebrate my birthday the whole weekend. So, I did! Friday night I went out with friends from work, high school and college to my two favorite places: Paradise and Stetsons. I'll post pictures later. Amber was my designated driver. (I felt the need to put that in there for those of you who worry.) It always amazes me how she can go to places like that and stay sober. I'm not an alcoholic. Its a miracle if I go out even once a month! Anyway, it meant alot to hang out with so many wonderful people and have fun.

Today was my actual birthday. I couldn't have asked for a better day. I made myself go for a run and then to the gym and guess what??? I didn't even pass out! Then I came home and washed my dog and worked in my flower garden. (I'll admit it, I enjoyed myself. I am officially old!) I went over to my sister and brother-in-law's for a cookout around 1pm. They ordered me a delicious cake from Publix (my favorite!) Jes, Chris, and my surrogate niece and nephew came over. I didn't realize just how much I miss those kiddos until today. They are growing up tooooo fast. I finally got some pictures of them with Thomas. I can't wait to post those. My cousin came into town with her adorable girls. Of course, my mom and Gene came over too. My mom gave me a sweet card that said: "To Our Daughter..." It was something about being fashionable, but that wasn't the part that made me tear up. It was the word "our," because it was signed by she and Gene. Sometimes I feel guilty because I really like Gene as a step-dad. I like when I tell people my dad fixed my car or that my dad works for the sheriff's department. But then I feel like a traitor to my daddy. Hopefully he understands. Ralph Tucker, Jr. is my daddy. Gene is my step-dad.

After the cookout my mom and I went shopping. It was fun to spend time with her.

Then I got home and checked my messages. I had 6 voicemails from people that live far away or were out of town wishing me a happy birthday. I'm not trying to sound conceited or like a big dork, but it really made me feel fantastic. I am really blessed and thankful for what I have.

Ok, I promise my next entry will have some sarcasm and humor!

Worry, Fear, and Avoidance

What do all of these have in common with one another? I guess if one worries about something its because one is afraid of the possible outcomes which in turn causes that person to avoid certain situations. You can read into this as much or as little as you want to. I was walking my dog this morning and these were the thoughts running through my mind. And I wonder why my neck hurts and I have a headache?!?

I see this pattern all the time. I haven't been running since my 5k in early May. Pathetic? I've been exercising other ways: biking, swimming, lifting weights, etc... but as for running, not a chance. So today, I got up and made myself run. As I ran I thought about why I was avoiding it so much. I guess for two reasons: one, fear I would have to walk halfway through the run and two, I was afraid I would puke. (I'm having terrible sinus trouble again!) I had to laugh at my analysis of the situation. Who cares if I have to walk? At least I'm exercising. As for the puking, I'm going to be sick whether I sit my fat behind on the couch or if I run. So, why not run and lose those last 20 pounds? Geez Louise!

Then there's this whole dating thing. I don't know if you even call it a dating thing. I've been on two dates with the guys. Both of which were successful. We had a date planned for Saturday but I had to cancel due to an impromptu family event that I felt I needed to attend. My point, all is good but what do I do? I overanalyze. I worry that I'll be "too distant." I worry that I'll invest too much into this relationship and then get dumped. I guess its because one, that's just my personality and two, baggage. Yep, good ole baggage. There's baggage from losing my dad at such a young age and of course there's baggage from just past dating relationships in general. I act like I'm special or something. I think everybody has baggage. Its just what I do with mine that will make or break me. So, for this situation I think I'm going to steal that old cliche' "its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Now, don't go getting any ideas, I'm not saying I'm in love. I'm saying I've got to give this a shot or how will I learn?

Boy, do I feel better?!! I can't believe I wasted so many years on therapy and medication. Just kidding!

Date Update

Well, I went out with Josh last Tuesday night. We met at Applebee's and talked for almost 3 hours! It was really comfortable. Normally, I go on a blind date with preconceived notions just knowing that things are going to suck. I kept an open mind this time. It went well. I still had that nervous, throw up feeling but all in all it went well. I guess I wasn't too much of a twit because he called me Wednesday night and said he had a good time. (I didn't even put out! Geez, I sound like a slut.) He's been out of town since then so we've made tentative plans to go out this Wednesday. Very exciting times for this old lady!

I'm trying not to get too worked up over this. We'll take it one day at a time. If anything it has been a great confidence booster. Polly, can you pull a rune on this one?

Picture from Graduation

I couldn't figure out how to crop the kiddos' faces out of the picture so here's the pic of our team. Our nurse wasn't there that day. Yes, it takes all four of us and our nurse to run this ship!!! If one more person laughs and says our job must be a piece of cake, I'm gonna tell them where to shove that piece of cake!

Thomas

My nephew is the sweetest, craziest, most adorable kid I know. Last Thursday night we were having dinner at a local mom and pop restaurant and of course he finished first so I took him for a walk before all chaos broke loose. He casually yells across the restaurant, "Papa Gene I go with Nanie!" He's not even 15 months yet!

Yesterday he was looking at a copy of my mom's Ladie's Home Journal. He kept pointing at the cover saying, "Balls, balls, balls." My sister almost had a stroke when finally looked at what he was pointing to... Dolly Parton's boobs! I think in school we called that accomodation, you know where the kid generalizes one word for another. Balls...boobs???

On Turning 32...

So my 32nd birthday is next week. I have a lot to be thankful for. This time last year I was in a funk and depressed about turning 31. I couldn't be happier this year. For starters, I am 45 pounds lighter! Yay! I have a house of my very own that I am still in love with! (strange, I know, being as how I normally get an itch to move every 6 or so months!) I love my job. I am blessed with wonderful friends and a great family. Life is good!

I was making some birthday invites (which my sister said were lame, but what does she know?), and I was going to jokingly put '23rd birthday' instead of '32nd birthday.' I decided not to, but I was thinking about my 23rd birthday. I can barely remember that time in my life but I do remember being so unsure of myself and life in general. I was fresh out of college, still living at home with my mom and sister thinking about what I was going to do next. I am SOOO much happier now and while I'm still not sure what the future holds for me, I do know that whatever it is, it'll be great! (I know, I'm sappy. My ex-boyfriend was right, it is all bunnies and rainbows for me,lol!)

Graduation Day

Today was Pre-K graduation. I was never in my life so happy to see these kids graduate! As soon as I figure out how to crop out their faces I'll post some pics. I don't want anybody suing me for posting their kids on the internet. They actually did really well. Ty actually stood on stage and sang with the other kids without running away. T made it through the ceremony thanks to Holly covering his ears. The noise was over stimulating. K made it without me having to pull his ears off. He just wiggled alot but he didn't do his usual screaming. Our principal was really thoughtful and let us be the last ones in and the first ones out. I am happy to say that it went off without a hitch and I didn't have to take any Xanxex or smoke pot. LOL!!!

We met some our new kiddos for next year. Can I just tell you I am soooooo excited about this group. We're getting 3 new cutie pies. One with Down's, one with CP and another with Trisomy 22. I am so happy to actually get to teach and implement therapies rather than CPI kids to keep them from hurting themselves or others. Sorry about the lingo, CPI stands for Crisis Prevention Intervention. Its a fancy way of saying, "restraining kids." I HATE to do it, but this year, I've had to more than once. All I can say is God bless the ladies who get these graduates!

Guess What???

I have a date. Yep, a real life date with a real life man who I did NOT meet on the internet or pick up in a bar. Geez, that sounded bad. I'm not judging anybody who has met their significant other in the above mentioned places. Its just that those of you who know me, know my luck with internet dating and picking guys up in bars. Need I say more?

So, despite losing 43 pounds, having a decent hair style, and 31 years of wisdom, I still have that "oh my gosh, what the hell have I done, nervous queezy stomach feeling!?!" What is wrong with me?

I'll update you later on how it goes. We're meeting up tomorrow night after my class. Don't worry, Aunt Barbara, he's safe. He's a cousin of my friend, Amber. He's 27 and I'm sure he'd dump me right now before we had our first date if he knew I was blogging about him. So, I will end with that.

Mother's Day At Marie Livingston's

We enjoyed our second annual trip to Marie Livingston's for Mother's Day. Thomas, of course was the life of the party. He is the most amazing thing ever. I love watching him and spending time with him. It's official, my name is "Nanie." I'm sad to say it's not "J." My friend Wendi's little girl Jadie used to call me "J." So for years, that was my nickname. Sorry, Jadie. Thomas has christened me "Nanie." When he wants something, I am "my Nanie."

I was in charge of the corsages this year. Of course I waited until the last minute to get them. Apparently all Publix had were left over prom corsages! Let's just say my mom better wear that damn corsage until EVERY petal falls off.

I think everyone had a nice day.

Don't Eat the Cheeseburgers!!!

So I joined this group my trainer started called 'Real Women Lift.' My trainer is wonderful and she's taught me alot but I HATE to lift weights. So I knew that if I were going to ever get into a weightlifting routine I needed to join her new group. Its alot of fun and really encouraging. I've done some things that I never thought would be possible (i.e. sit-ups/ball toss combos, lunges with 10 pound weights, knee lifts!?!) Anyway, we had to submit information to her about our height weight and waist measurements. On Thursday, she presented us with our personal profiles related to our weight, BMI, health risks etc. I know its just a computer program, nothing personal but I was really pissed when I read it. I also know that I'm not finished losing weight but I've worked really hard and to read that I am STILL in the overweight category and at risk for heart-related complications totally negated the stuff I've been doing for the past 4 months. Its funny because I expected to see what was on the paper but it still bothered me. Perhaps I'm being a whiner. I am thankful for the 43 pounds lost thus far. When I started this diet my waist measurement was 42. When I was measured on Monday it was 37. I weighed 209.2 December 31st. Now I weight 166.2. (I'm stuck by the way!) I'm very grateful and I have tons more energy. Not to mention the fact that I feel more confident about myself. Sorry, I digressed. So the damn profile said I should weigh 124 pounds! I'm not sure I'll ever weigh that little. I'm shooting for 144. If I ever make it, it'll be a miracle! I'm not going to obsess over losing weight or starve myself to get there. I know its about feeling good and being healthy. I just had to vent and I guess I'll stay away from the cheeseburgers!

Warning: White Legs Have Been Known to Cause Blindness!!!!

After the 5k, Jes, Amber and I spent the night at my aunt and uncle's house. It was great to see them. We were able to catch up and reminisce about old times. I don't visit them nearly enough. My aunt is my dad's sister. When I spend time with her, I feel closer to my daddy and my grandmother, their mother.

My aunt and uncle made a poster that said, "Congrats on your 5k," and hung a banner up on the front door. It was really sweet.

I have to say it was a fantastic weekend. Jes and Amber are both easy going people and despite them not really knowing each other, we all just got along. Ok, I'm going to stop now. I'm starting to sound too granola-ee!

5k Aftershots

Jes and I posing for an aftershot. Not our most attractive poses.


Me, Crossing the finish line!

Me after the 5k, Ready for a dip in the pool!!!


Like I said before I really enjoyed this run. It took me longer to complete this time. I think its a mental thing. I'm afraid to push myself because I think if I do, I won't be able to keep my pace and then I'll end up walking instead of running. Silly I know, but its me. I did manage to do this 5k without walking. So, my plan now is to practice building my speed.

Disney's Minnie Marathon

I completed my second 5k last weekend. If you ask my sister she'll tell you I ran a marathon. LOL! Thanks Molly! I love you. I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to run. This 5k was held at Epcot. The flowers and wishing wells were gorgeous. Funds from this run supported research for heart disease. I ran in memory of my Grandma, Janie Fowler Tucker. She died about 5 years ago from heart disease related complications. If there was ever a person who made me feel like I was perfect, it was her. Everyone should have at least one person in their lives who makes them feel like they hung the moon. She did that for me. I miss her so much but I felt so connected to her last weekend while I was running. It was like every time I felt a breeze or saw a bright flower she was there. I put the collage I made of she and I on a t-shirt and wore it the day of the 5k.