Pet Peeves

I've been pondering this list for quite some time now and thought I'd share my list of pet peeves...
1. "fun size" candy bars: I mean really, come on... you have to eat the whole damn bag to make it count.
2. people who ask you how you are doing and don't wait for an answer
3. automated telephone services
4. those little napkin kits with the spork, salt and pepper. The napkin is rediculous!

January 1st, 2009

So, I started my diet December 31st 2007, and by June 15th 2008, I lost 50 pounds. I've managed to maintain that 50 pound loss give or take a few by some miraculous efforts. So, my plan is to start completely over to lose those last 20 pounds beginning January 1st 2009. This means, no more beer on Friday nights, no Twizzlers on Sunday afternoon, and for heaven's sake, no more Sonic grilled cheeses! I've got to get my fat behind back in gear with my running. I got sick a few weeks ago and since then I have found every excuse in the book not to exercise. No more excuses! I've got to do it for my health. I'm blogging this in hopes to keep myself accountable. We shall see. My prayer is that by my 33rd birthday I will be 140. That is not unreasonable.

Happy Thanksgiving 2008!

I can't express how blessed and thankful I am for all that I have. While its an overjoyous experience, its also a worrysome, scary feeling all at the same time. I'm not even going to address that right now. Those of you who know me, know where I'm coming from with all of this. I guess all I can do is pray, thank God for what I have and ask that He keep everybody safe during this holiday season.

Yesterday was great. We spent the morning at Josh's sister's house for his family's Thanksgiving celebration. Kelley took the picture I posted. Thanks, girl! Afterwards, we went to my sister's house for Thanksgiving with my family.

I didn't get up this morning and shop. I have a terrible cough that I can't get rid of. I feel fine except for this cough that keeps me up all night. Not sure what to do about it. I've tried Mucinex, Robitussin, etc. I'm one step from trying a shot of whiskey with honey!

I'm supposed to go hunting tomorrow so I have to get better! This will be my first experience. I've been woods ridin' and helped spot during bow season but this will be my first experience with dogs and rifles. We shall see! Poor Josh, with working otu of town and trying to spend time with me, he hasn't had much time hunting. I'm hoping he gets a big buck this season. Well, that's about it. Love, J

Thanks Aunt Sharon!

My Aunt Sharon sent me some old pictures from back in the day. Here are a few of them. It was really sweet of her and it brought back great memories...


Happy Birthday Cuz Erica!


Me with My Aunt Sharon


My Parents on Their Wedding Day... don't think I'll ever be fittin' into that dress!


The Last Time I Wore a Bikini...


Happy Halloween 1986

On Being Thankful

I'm stealing this quote from Trish's blog. "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never ever have enough." I'm thankful for this quote. It couldn't have come at a better time.

I love Josh. I love him so much my heart actually aches when I'm not around him. (don't puke and no, I'm not smokin' dope) He's been working in Fort Walton Beach for the past month. We talk every night on the phone and we spend pretty much the whole weekend together but when he leaves on Monday mornings to go out of town, I cry. Its the strangest thing. At first, I think I was worried he would get over there and realize how much he misses his free time (you know, before we got together), now I think its because I worry that he's going to get hurt or worse. Is this normal? My sister says it is, but then again we both come from the same family. We're a couple of kiddos who lost our daddy when we were 12 and 8.

Will it ever get easier? I need to be thankful for what I've got and enjoy it all I can.

Halloween 2008

Here is a picture of me with my two favorite men on halloween!

City Girl Gone Country

Yep, that's me... this weekend I went "woods-ridin." This would be Josh's idea of spending time with me while still having the chance to go hunting. Romantic... I know. LOL! I figure hey, it kept me from racking up my credit card at the mall and I got to spend time with my man. Of course, my dumb behind didn't think about the logistics behind, "woods-ridin" and brought along a 32oz Big Gulp of Diet Coke! Guess what?!? There are no port-o-lets in the Appalachicola National Forest. Those of you who know me, know what a prissy missy I can be. I have a hard enough time peeing in public restrooms for fear that someone will hear me! There was no stoppin' this Big Gulp from comin' out of me, though. So, Josh pulled off the road and I walked down into the woods and yep, I peed behind a tree. I'm proud of myself too. I only peed a little bit on the bottom of my jeans. All I can say is thank God I've lost weight b/c there is no way in hell I could have squatted like that at 200 pounds!

6 months ago today...

I met the most wonderful man in the world. We met at Applebee's on Capital Circle and talked for nearly three hours! I was hooked, but scared. Three weeks later, he told me he really liked me and wanted to be more than friends. Four months into the relationship he told me he loved me. Now, its been six wonderful months. Its hard to believe that one person can make you feel so amazing.

I still haven't gotten my flowers, but from what I've heard from some friends is that those usually come after he's done something wrong, lol! I'm learning those things just aren't important. What is important is asking if he can help me when I'm sick, holding me when I'm crying for absolutely no reason, and calling me when he says he'll call.

Its funny too, because when I first met him, I thought he was ok looking, but now, after six months, I think he's the sexiest, most handsome man ever. Everytime I see him I think he looks better and better!

I'm learning to overcome fears and self-confidence issues through this whole process. Before Josh, I had built a wall around myself. I only allowed people to see limited parts of who I was. I was fearful of losing people I loved so there was no way I would ever let a man get close to me. That wall is slowly crumbling. I'm realizing that life is so much richer when you let people in. Yep, its still pretty scary but the rewards are so much greater.

Its true what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder. Josh is in Fort Walton Beach working for the next month and a half. Fortunately, he comes home on the weekends. I miss him so much.

As far as marriage and children are concerned... I don't know what the future holds. We've talked about both but there are some financial things we both need to work out. Josh also has some family obligations (no ex-wives or kiddos) that have to be taken care of. There are days when I think I'm ready for marriage and babies and then there are days when I feel like I have it good right now. I have my own house, he has his... you catch my drift. Please pray for me. Pray that God will give me the peace I need to wait and hear His plan in all of this. Pray that if it is His will for us to be together it will happen.

Hmmm...

Why is it that I always feel like I have to be the best at everything? Why...Why... Why can't I be satisfied with the status quo? I have a good job that I actually love and I'm good at. I am thankful to have enough money to pay my bills but yet I feel like I need to do more. This is the first time in 10 years of teaching that I leave on time every afternoon without taking work home. Last fall, I applied to FSU's Educational Leadership program. This is an on-line program consisting of 8 classes that would allow me to go into administration upon completion of the program. I was supposed to take classes in the spring of 2008 but backed out. One, I don't know if I have what it takes to be somebody else's boss. Confrontations make me sick and I have a problem with wanting people to like me. So, I really didn't want to pay $1,000/class for something I may never use. I'm still paying on loans I took out for my teaching degree!

Anyway, I was asked to be apart of our district's leadership program. Its a two part process that is ideally intended for people who want to go into administration. My principal recommended me for part one last year. She kept encouraging me to go back to school. I am honored that she thought I had the capabilities to do so. This year, I'm taking level 2. I leave each meeting feeling pumped and wanting to take classes, but then once I get back into my everyday routine, I think about the added stress of taking classes. My new principal keeps putting me in these leadership positions as well. Again, I am thankful. I just hope that I do a good job.

So, I'm just not sure what to do. I love my life right now, but should I be thinking about the future and take these classes just in case?

The Fat Girl Inside of Me

Despite losing 50 pounds since January 2008, I still see myself as a fat girl. (hope that's not offensive to anyone) Don't get me wrong, I don't have an eating disorder or think of myself as unattractive. I was beautiful when I weighed in at 209 pounds. I just didn't have the confidence to let that beauty shine through. Anyway, the point to this entry... There are times when I say things like, "I have to watch myself around that icing," or "I need to get my fat butt off the couch and exercise." I think by saying those things, I've offended some people, especially those people who didn't know me before the weightloss. Comments like that aren't made to poke fun at other people nor am I trying to draw attention to the fact that I have lost 50 pounds. Instead, its my way of keeping myself in check. Furthermore, I will always be able to relate to being overweight. I will always have to watch what I eat. I will always have to exercise. As long as I'm aware of these things, I think I will have a better grasp on keeping my weight down!

Josh's Granny's 91st Birthday Party

Josh's family have big get togethers for birthdays. There were 5 people's birthday to celebrate in October. I got to meet Josh's 91 year old grandmother. I sure hope I look that good at 91! Here are some pics. I had a great time on the lake with everybody. I feel pretty much at home with all of them.

Halloween Legs

I have always wanted a pair of these tights and now I finally have a pair! They don't make these in big girl sizes if you catch my drift so this is the first year that I can fit into them.

Camping 101

Some of Josh's friends invited us to go camping with them this weekend. Believe it or not, I'd really been wanting to try it so... I did. We spent all day on the beach. The weather was perfect. Not too hot, not too cold and there was a fantastic breeze. I still managed to get sunburned though. Josh put sunscreen on my back, neck and shoulders. I put it on the front of me. Guess where I got sunburned? All the places I put the sunscreen! My knee caps even got red. What is that all about? I enjoyed some very delicious fruity drinks while vegging on the beach.

Josh's friend, Ross loaned us a two-man tent to sleep in. Thanks Ross! The queen sized air mattress Amber loaned me didn't quite fit in it so we slept on sleeping bags. Yes, Amber I actually took it out and tried it! LOL! Thanks to you too. It wasn't too bad except there wasn't a screen and I kept getting clausterphobic so I had to sleep with the front panel of the tent cracked. Guess what woke us up in the morning? Yep, mosquitoes!

I was worried I would have to pee in the middle of the night but fortunately I didn't! I don't like peeing in the woods and I didn't want to wake Josh to ask him to walk me to the nearest bathroom.

So the next time I go, here is what I'll remember... a tent big enough to hold an air mattress, aerosol insect repellant, maglite (you know the big one that can give people concussions) and my battery-operated fan.

All in all, I couldn't have asked for a better first time camping experience. Of course, my first choice will always be the Holiday Inn!



All of this for one night!?!


Putting the tent together. Notice, I'm not in the picture.


The finished project! Is my man good or what?


Harry A's after a great day at the beach... Go Noles! Yay, we beat Miami!


Pretty wildflowers and butterfly!

Bloggin' When I Should Be Woggin'

Yep, its gorgeous outside and so I should be outside but I had this need to blog so here goes... Hormones! I probably don't even need to type anything else. Its amazing what PMS can do to a girl. At the beginning of the week I was pissed at Josh and couldn't really put my finger on exactly why. Everything was his fault. I gained 2 pounds, his fault. I mean even the cramps I was having,was his fault. I didn't find any humor in that until Jes pointed out that I couldn't exactly blame him for that.

Monday and Tuesday were rough. I just knew things with Josh were over and my life just basically well... sucked. Fortunately, today is Thursday and I see sunshine again. I have to say a big ole THANKS to Amber and Jes for listening and counseling me. Mag thanks for the e-mail. She didn't even know the details but she said she was going to call me and that made all the difference.

Its scary the toll hormones play on a person. I even take Yaz which does make a difference. Before I was on it, I never knew when I was going to get PMS and you could guarantee I'd get it twice a month! Talk about bad news. Fortunately, with the Yaz I know when I'm about to get it so I do alot of self-talk to get me through the week. The wogging helps too. I can't fool anybody, I'm not a runner. I do intervals of jogging and walking so I call it wogging. I stole that word from Trish.

Poor Josh. He's a trooper. Now, I'll admit, sometimes it is his fault that the waterworks (tears) start, but I don't think he really means to hurt my feelings. I'm getting better at being more assertive. Now, I just ask him what did he mean by a certain comment or to rephrase what he is trying to say. He does and apologizes for hurting my feelings. The funny thing is, its me who normally takes things the wrong way. I told him Tuesday night that I understood if he wanted to run away being how crazy(hormonal) I am. He hugged me and reassured me that I wasn't crazy and that its normal to have feelings. God, I love him even more just typing this!
So, until the first of next month, I guess things will be fine! Pray for me, please.

Sex and the City

So I bought the movie, Sex and the City. My friends and I used to religiously watch every single episode of the tv show when it was on. I can't believe I never went to the theater to see the movie but for some strange reason I didn't. So, I finally watched it last Tuesday night. It was a bittersweet experience. The whole time I'm watching it I felt like someone was missing... actually 3 people were missing: Maggie, Staci and Bobbie. It was wierd to watch it without them there.

Of course watching it only made my desire to go back to NYC even greater. Unfortunately, I have a bit of a cash shortage as do my friends. I don't think they would be offended for me admitting that. At least I hope not!

While the entire movie was great the last part of it really hit home. Carrie is at a book signing and she says something to the effect of, "why is it as women when it comes to relationships and marriage we can write our own vows, but we can't write our own rules?"

I'm at this point in my relationship with Josh where I really want to know where the whole thing is headed. We've said the "I Love You" thing. We see each other at least 4 days out of the week. (technically 6, if you count the next morning after spending the night.) So, what's next? Or, is there even going to be something next? Better yet, do I want something else or am I content with the status quo? Who freakin' knows? All I know is that when I'm not with him, I'm thinking about him. When I'm with him, all I can do is think about how handsome he is and how much I love him. Even when I'm pissed or confused with him, I'm still in love with him. Lord, I think I'm going crazy!

Dance Class Drop Outs

Well, Thomas and I didn't quite dig the whole "Aunty and Me" class so we dropped out. It was actually Thomas who plain as day told us that his dancing shoes were too tight and he didn't like going. He's 18 months old so we figured what the heck? Why make the kid dance if he hates it so much?

On a more positve note, my sister has been taking him to a "Little Critters" class at the Jr. Museum. He LOVES it. He pets snakes and baby alligators. I think we have a biologist on our hands.

My step-dad built a chicken coup and bought Thomas some chicks. Thomas thinks they're the greatest things.

Pictures, Pictures and More Pictures

Two Monkeys at the Zoo...

Missy aka "Mismee" and Thomas...

Too Hot for the Hot Tub...

I'm running again...

The weather has been fairly decent here in the great Panhandle so I've actually been able to run again. Today I ran for 8 minutes straight. I know for some that's not good but I had to start all over because I haven't ran since May.

It makes me feel really good when I run. I'm maintaining my weight. I fluctuate 4-6 pounds but overall I'm maintaining. I'm trying to sike myself up to lose the last 20 pounds but so far I haven't been successful. I enjoy beer way too much. Josh is leaving for Niceville in a couple of weeks. I'm hoping that while he's gone I can go on my 3 day protein kick and get back to the low carb deal. Wish me luck!

Good News

So I went to the dermatologist for a check up on my vitiligo and guess what??? The creams are working on most of the white spots so I'm slowly getting pigment back. Pretty exciting stuff.

On the downside of things, I am getting these ever-so-lovely dark spots above my top lip. Apparently birth control pills cause hormonal changes which cause the spots! So, the dermatologist gave me a prescription for a cream for that. When I went to get it filled I discovered that its NOT covered under my insurance so it costs a whopping $185!!! Guess I'll be using alot of foundation because there is no way in hell I'm paying that kind of money for cosmetic reasons.

Confession Time

I have a problem... it starts with a "b" and ends with a "g." Can you guess what it is? Its called "Budgeting." (Please note: this isn't a feel-sorry-for-me entry. I'm blessed to have money to pay my bills and a little left over for spending.) You'd think after 10 years of teaching, 7 of which I've lived on my own, I'd be a little better at budgeting. The problem is I have a Budlight taste for things and I'm living on a Natural Lite budget. Call me a redneck. I know its supposed to be wine vs. beer but I thought my analogy was funnier.

This month I'm going to try something new. I listed all my bills and paid them up front on paper. Then I subtracted the leftover money and divided it by 4. That's going to be how much I have to spend for each week. My problem is I can't say "no." I'm a sucker for fundraisers. I love to shop and eat out.

This summer I worked really hard to pay off all but one of my credit cards and wouldn't you know it... I've racked one up again! Lord, I hope this budgeting thing works.

I figured if I wrote it all down then maybe it help me be a bit more accountable. Who knows???

The hor(se) that bit my finger...

Those of you who know me well, know about my tremendous fear of birds. The only way I like birds are fried and from KFC! When I was about 3 years old my parents took me to Lion Country Safari. To this day, I remember the experience, vividly... picture it, a cute 3 year old blonde bends over to smell a flower and SNAP... a duck bites her back! I kid you not, 29 years later and I still hate birds!

I'm writing all of this to tell you about my nephew Thomas'experience with a horse. He is enamored with the Jr. Museum these days. So my sister got him an annual pass. He discovered that the horses like grass and insists on feeding them. (Little did we know that there is a big sign that says, "please do not feed the horses." Oops!)

Monday night at dinner he shows me his middle finger bandaged up and says, "Nanie, whore bit my finger!" He meant horse but it just came out "whore." It was really funny. Poor baby, he won't be feeding the whores anymore!

Marriage Material

How do you know if you're marriage material or not? Don't get excited... there hasn't been a proposal, but we've briefly talked about it. I remember in high school having to plan my dream wedding. I really enjoyed doing that assignment. I've dreamed of having the perfect wedding/marriage practically all of my life. While I still entertain the thought of it all, it really scares the crap of out me. Those of you who know me, know its taken me many years to discover myself and make my own decisions about life. (I won't get into all that here.) Then there's those rediculous yet realistic fears of mine from past experiences (i.e. him leaving me or dying.) I won't even discuss my feelings on being a mom. (talk about fear, exhaustion, and anxiety!)

I love my life. I have the best of both worlds right now. Josh comes to my house. I go to his. He does his thing, I do mine. It works. I guess my point to this is I'm not going to worry about getting married. I'm going to enjoy what I've got right now. If we continue to date and he proposes, then we'll see. Right now, I'm enjoying life one day at a time!

Its Crazy...

so I thought I'd post an entry on some crazy stuff related to me...

1. I will have lived in my house for an entire year on September 12th and the scary thing is... I still love it here! (those of you who know me, know my average stay is 6-10 months!)
2. I haven't been to the mall in a month! (that would be thanks to being in love)
3. I've been cooking and guess what? I enjoy it!
4. I've managed 4 whole months of dating the same guy and haven't tried to run away. (Lord, I hope I haven't jinxed that one!)

I'll post more later, but I thought this was enough for now.

Osaka's with Thomas

Here are some pics of Thomas attempting to use his "training" chopsticks. He likes the sticky rice too. He is such a cool kid! After we left the restaurant he likes to take home 2 "wocks" (rocks) from their rock garden. We may need to start returning those wocks before somebody notices!

Booty Ballet

My friend Jes and I have been taking a Booty Ballet class on Wednesday nights. Its alot of fun even though I am the most uncoordinated person in the class. I love getting to wear a leotard with cute tops that camoflage my tummy. (Still a stubborn spot that I must deal with... sorry I digressed...) Anyway, I also love the instructor. Ever since I was a kid I wanted to take dance classes with this lady but never did because, well... as I've mentioned before I suck at anything that requires coordination. Anyway, its an honor to take a class taught by her.

I think however, the best part of the class is going out for margaritas with Jes after the class. They are yummy, delicious. The only problem is, I like to eat the chips and salsa too. It probably defeats the purpose of exercising! Oh well...

Fishing

I went fishing on Labor Day with Josh and caught my very first catfish. By the way, its not true that you have to be quiet to catch fish. My daddy was wrong!

I had to laugh...

I love teaching and I love where I work but sometimes I just wonder where people come from. Picture it... second week of school, children with developmental delays, some have never left their grandma's front porch before coming to school and I hear a teacher complain, "my students can't even walk in a straight line!" I had to laugh to keep from saying something really inappropriate. Instead I thought to myself, "they need to thank God their students can even walk!" (that wasn't meant to be derrogative towards my students. that's just me putting things into perspective!)

Sometimes...

reality bites!!!

(As my friend Wendi says, "I have to set the stage first" in order to get to the point of this entry...) As most people know, I teach kiddos with special needs. Most of my experience has involved teaching children with learning and/or emotional disabilities... autism included. This years group is different. Different meaning, I haven't really dealt with so many motor/physical needs before. Don't get me wrong, I am LOVING it. They are all so sweet and cuddly. Its exciting to see enthusiasm for learning for a change. These students range in ages from 2-5. I have one with Down's Syndrome, 3 with other various chromosome syndromes, two with Cerebral Palsy, one with Spina Bifida and one, that's well... just delayed.

Ok, now that I've set the stage, I can get into the point of my entry. AS an ESE teacher I've always felt its my responsibility to focus on the positive. We focus on what these kiddos CAN do rather than what they can't. We try to be cheerleaders for their parents and advocates for them. With all this said, my heart ached this past Tuesday for both Sam and his family. Sam is an adorable 2 and a half year old with CP. Cognitively, he really has it going on. He does have some expressive aphasia (trouble getting out what he wants to say. His main issues are physical. He can't sit up without support and he can't walk. His parents recently got him fitted for a wheelchair and Tuesday was his first day riding the bus, not to mention the fact that it was his first day riding the bus in a wheelchair! His mom called to let us know that he would be coming in on the bus and that it was a very traumatic experience for him. She was in tears as she told me that while she hated it for Sam, it was his reality. He is going to need a wheelchair. He isn't always going to be able be carried and for motor/physical support, he NEEDS the wheelchair.

That afternoon, as I put Sam on the bus, I felt my eyes well up with tears. I smiled and cheered for him and told him he was a brave, big boy but inside my heart was breaking. I know I'm rambling and I've said this before, but I'm saying it again... my heart goes out to parents and families of children with special needs. There reality is not our reality and sometimes it well... just plain bites!

Going Through Old CDs

I usually hate romantic songs but for some reason here lately, I'm drawn to them. Hrmm, wonder why, lol! Anyway, this is my latest...

Love this picture

This picture was taken a few weeks ago at JR and Jessica's wedding. Jessica was sweet enough to give me a copy. I love it!

Fay Sucks!

I was supposed to be picking Julie up right about now and we were supposed to be headed east to J'ville to pick Sara up from the airport. From there, we were going to meet up with the other 3 Nole girls near St. Augustine for a little reunion, but instead I am sitting in front of my computer in my boxers and sports bra typing on the computer. Why, you ask? Because of a stupid tropical storm called Fay. Ok, so I sound like a brat right about now. I am thankful to be safe in my cozy little house. I have electricity, a/c, and internet as of now. My belly is full and I am dry so I should be thankful. I do pray that the people from other parts of Florida are safe too. Its just sad because we planned this trip a while ago. We haven't all been together in 3 years! We used to all get together every summer but due to busy schedules and family engagements that's all slowed down. Oh well, we will eventually get together. Hopefully, before we are eligible for an AARP discount!
Here is a picture of all us from the last visit:

Aunty and Me Class/Booty Ballet

So Molly signed Thomas and I up for a dance class. Its really a 'Mommy and Me' class but my sister is so exhausted from the antibiotics for the Lyme Disease and Thomas in general, that she asked me if I'd take it with him. I was honored! I've always wanted to dance so here's my chance. Plus its a time for me and Thomas to bond. Have I mentioned lately how much I love that kid?

Tonight was our first class. I can't wait for Molly to post the pictures so I can post them here. Thomas was a bit anxious so he only participated for half the time. Molly was watching so he kept running to her. The dance instructor would ask him if he wanted to help her and he'd reply, "no!" He did however show her his right foot when asked, "Thomas where is your right foot?" He is a smart cookie!

My poor sister looked a bit frazzled after the class and asked me if I was up to the challenge. I'm actually enjoying it. I also think that once he goes a few times, he'll get into it.

After the class, my dear friend Jes and I took a Booty Ballet class together. Talk about funny! I have issues with being barefoot in a place where lots of other people go barefoot so I kept my socks on. Not a good idea! I kept sliding around. I ordered some toe undies for next week's class. They don't completely cover your feet but at least part of them will be covered and that's what counts, lol!

I Survived...

the first day of school! I have to say it was probably the best first day of school EVER! I am in love with my class. Its hard to believe that I could fall in love with them after just being with them for 3 days but I am. I am thankful to work with one of my best friends, Amber. Our Volunteer Grandma came back. She's a saint and she loves to rock "the babies." (as she calls them all, lol!) We have a new person in our room and she has jumped right in.

So far we have 8 kiddos. Which is plenty! We have to spoon feed 3 of them because of choking and/or fine motor issues. One of our guys is trying to be potty trained but as for the other friends... they are in diapers. I pray our changing table comes soon. Four of them are unable to walk.

Its pretty exciting this year, we have music therapy! The children love it. The district finally hung a swing in our room and they love it. The OT is going to order us another one so we can switch out. I personally like the one we have now b/c its strong enough to hold me while I swing holding a child. They're all pretty much non-verbal but its amazing the bond we all already have with them. As I said earlier, my goal this year is to make this a fun and exciting year for these kiddos!

Josh Told Me...

he loves me! Lord, do I sound like I'm 12 or what? I'm just so happy and overwhelmed all at the same time. We were at a wedding after-party and he leans over and whispers that he needs to tell me something. He says he's needed to tell me for quite some time but didn't know how or when to say it. Of course, I'm thinking, "Well, this has been fun. I knew it was too good to last." So, I braced myself and was totally speechless when he whispered that he loves me. He also said he could see himself marrying me.

He said it again this morning so it must be true. Trust me, the boy doesn't say anything unless he means it. He does everything in his own timing.

A Letter to Me...

I think Brad Paisley also has a song called 'Letter to Me,' but the other day my sister wrote a blog entitled 'Letter to Me at 16.' Her letter inspired me to write one to myself. I know, I need to start writing my own stuff, lol!

They say hindsight is 20/20. Besides that, if we could all go back and change things how would we learn? How could we be the strong, vivacious people we are today? Here's my letter to me at 16...

Dear Janie,
You are 16 years old. I wish I could tell you that your life will be all roses and bunnies but unfortunately I can't. What I can tell you is this: you are a strong woman that will be able to overcome those curve balls life throws at you.

Janie, stop taking things so seriously. It will not matter 10 years from now what your GPA is. Enjoy your time in high school. When your friends call you to spontaneously go out, do it!

That boy you are so in love with... he's not for you. Trust me, there's someone much better for you. Its just going to be a while before you meet him. He is so worth the wait.

Listen to your Grandma Tucker. She may repeat her stories over and over again, but listen to her. Visit her as often as you can. There's going to come a time when she is really sick and she's not going to be herself. Its going to hurt you like crazy but be there for her and Aunt Barbara. YOu'll regret it later if you don't.

Spend as much time with your mom and sister as you can. I know you guys don't share the same housekeeping views and that can often piss you off but there's going to come a time when you will all move out on your own and the house will be empty. You will miss them.

As for mom. She loves you more than you'll ever know. Humor her when she worries excessively and respect her wishes. Just don't take her so seriously that you can't make your own decisions.

Finally, STAY OUT OF THE DAMN TANNING BEDS!!!! Stop worrying about your legs being so white. You think you're white now, just wait until you're 32 and you have your dermatologist on speed-dial!

There's so much more I'd like to tell you but you've got to learn on your own. Perhaps I'll write you again in 16 more year!

Love,
J

Thomasisms

My sister posted this on her myspace website. I told her I was stealing it and posting it here. Can you believe this kid is only 17 months old?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Thomasisms
Category: Life


Thomas makes me laugh everyday. Here are a few conversations we've had lately. I hope I don't ever get to busy or too old to remember how cute he is now.

We're riding in the car to Rachel's house and we pass by a couple of horses.

Mommy: Thomas, what do horses say?

Thomas: Moo?

Mommy: No, you know what horses say. What do they say Thomas?

Thomas: Moo, moo? (At which point he started laughing)

Steve, the bug man from Paul's Pest Control shows up at our house the other day and knocks on the door. Most people just come in. Thomas' Grandpa (Eric's Dad) is the only one who knocks. So, Thomas runs to the door.

Thomas: Bampaw?

Mommy: (Opening the door) Hi Steve. No, Thomas, it's Mr. Steve, the bug man.

Thomas: Bye Bye Deve. (He closed the door on Steve.) I go to Bampa. (At which point he started screaming until I got Grandpa on the phone.)

We're riding in the car heading to Riverside Grill for lunch with Eric's Mom (Thomas' Grandma).

Thomas: Mamaw (He has a hard time with the G sound.), Tea, Tea, Tea.

Grandma: Thomas, when we get to the restaurant I'm going to get you some tea. Just as soon as we get there.

Thomas: And fwench fwies?

Grandma: And french fries Thomas. They have french fries at the restaurant.

Thomas: And bewds?

Grandma: And birds Thomas. We're going to feed the birds when we get to the restaurant.

Thomas: But, no Bampaw. (It was so sweet. His little face was so sad.)

Grandma: No, no Grandpa. Grandpa's at work.

He looked like he was going to cry.

Everynight before we go to bed, we remind Thomas that there are so many people who love him. Last night went something like this.

Mommy: Thomas, who loves you?

Thomas: Mismee (Janie's dog ALWAYS gets top billing)

Mommy: Yes, Thomas. Missy loves you. And who else loves you.

Thomas: Ahmilee (next, our cat Emily), Mommy, Daddy, (the next names usually change according to who we've been around that day) Nana, Papa Gene, the chicks (Papa Gene recently purchased 4 chicks for Thomas which he loves), Naynie, Bampaw, Mamaw, titty tats (He always follows their names whith kitty cats).

Mommy: Does anyone else love you?

Thomas: Ayee. Achel's Ayee. (Alli, Rachel's Alli)

Mommy: Thomas, do you love Rachel's Alli?

Thomas: Yep.

It was sooo cute!

.... to be continued.

Swim Lesson Pics

(So at first, I called the instructor a not-so-nice name but changed the word to yucky. If you read my sister's comment, you'll know what the first word was.)

Here are pics from swim lessons. The first pic is of the yucky instructor who told my sister that Thomas needed to calm down before going to swim lessons. Can you tell I'm still pissed about that? The other two are of Thomas and his daddy swimming. What a great daddy! Enjoy!

Sweet Kisses

This is a picture of Thomas with his girlfriend, Alli. Of course, he pronouces her name, "Aayee."

He is also over generalizing the word, "ball." We were at a party last weekend and he wanted some grapes. I didn't have a knife to cut the grapes so I bit them in half (I know, Heather, that's highly unsanitary, not to mention grapes are a major choking hazard!) Anyway, Thomas doesn't like me sharing his grapes with him so he yells, "Nanie, no eat my balls!" You can imagine my horror when people turned to look at me. Talk about a choking hazard!

Another over generalization... Molly bought Eric some donut holes from Krispy Kreme. She told Thomas at the grocery store that they were buying them for daddy. He says to me today, "Nanie, eat daddy's donut balls." I swear to you, the kid said this! I am not lying. He is the most amazing 17 month old!

I took him to Wal-mart today to do some shopping. What a trooper! He sat in the buggy for like 40 minutes! Afterwards I went to turn into Goodwill. He yells from the backseat, "NO! NO! NO!" I think he had too much shopping.

Godspeed, Sweet Dreams

I've heard this song before. My friend Deborah talks about it on her blog when referring to her son. My sister used it for part of a slideshow she made about Thomas, but it didn't hit me until today. I guess it was because of the comment the swimming instructor made about Thomas. The youtube video isn't the greatest but its the lyrics that I want readers to hear not necessarily look at the video. Why are always in such a freakin' hurry to rush our kids? I even do it myself. I was bragging to my friend Maggie about how smart her little boy is. (He really is!) And she laughed and said all she wanted was for Luc to be an average little boy who was happy about life. Shouldn't that be what we all want for our kiddos? Why do they have to be the best in every aspect of life? Let's face it, we're not all meant to be doctors or lawyers. Which on a side note is probably a good thing. LOL! Not everybody is meant for college. What really matters is being happy. As for Thomas, until his behavior causes harm to himself or others, we need to appreciate the kid that he is (I do!!!) and when people make unsolicited comments about his behavior, from now on, I'm going to give them a piece of my mind! My goal this year as a teacher is to point out EVERYTHING positive that my students do to their parents. They already know about their kiddos' limitations. So, why dwell on that. Hell, doctors and society in general do that enough for them. So, this song is dedicated to all the kiddos I come into contact with!

People Should Keep Their Mouths Shut!

I don't understand people these days. My sister is taking Thomas to swimming lessons this week. Apparently, he's too advanced for what the instructor is asking of him (i.e. sitting on the steps and trying to grab toys.) So the instructor tries to get him to use a kickboard. Thomas isn't really interested in the kickboard. Instead, he likes to stand on the edge of the pool and yell (in his words), "one, two, free, spash!" and then with a big grin on his face he jumps in the pool. The instructor suggested to my sister that she "unleash" him before tomorrow's class because he is just too hyper. The kid is only 17 months old. Give him a freakin' break. He's advanced in alot of areas but in other areas he's a typical kiddo. Since Thomas is so big for his age alot of people think emotionally/socially he should be advanced. I get a little defensive when people crack on my nephews or niece. Maybe I need to drive down to swim class and have a little chat with that instructor!

My Bubba Trying To Fill Daddy's Shoes... Take Your Time Little Man!

The True Meaning of the Word...

ROMANTIC. I'm not sure if my brain is wharped from watching too many soap operas or from reading romance novels but I used to think being romantic meant whispering sweet nothings in a person's ear, flowers, and sexy lingerie. All that stuff is over-rated these days.

Now don't get me wrong, a bouquet of yellow roses will float my boat anyday but I think my views on the real meaning of being romantic have changed a bit. (Any ideas on how to let him know I really like flowers???) I always thought I had to have all those other things to feel loved or important. I now know that isn't so. I'm learning that Josh shows me he cares about me by opening my door, finding me a chair to sit in when all the other guys' girlfriends are standing. He makes me feel important when he offers me his only beer coozie which means he goes without. (stop laughing, I thought it was sweet!)

This whole dating thing is wonderful and anxiety-provoking all at the same time. I'm learning more and more about myself everyday. I'm opening up little by little. He saw me cry for the first time a week or so ago. I expected him to dump me then and there. You know what he said, "Crying is normal. There's no reason to feel weak or embarassed about it." Of course that just made me cry some more because besides my therapist and of course a few of my close friends, nobody has ever told me it was ok to cry. I think I'm sold,ya'll! (I know to be careful and take it slow.)

Random Thoughts

School starts in two weeks. I'm kind of excited/nervous at the same time. This years kiddos will be more involved physically, not so much behavior, so at least I won't be running as much, lol! I'm nervous because I'm not exactly sure about the route I should take in teaching these guys (i.e. curriculum) and I want to make the most of every minute. I ordered a couple of curriculum guides to sample but I still feel like I need some training.

I was in Wal-mart this morning and saw all sorts of new fabric to decorate the bulletin boards with. Which for the first time in a long time actually made me excited about teaching. So, now my co-teacher and I have to think of a theme for the start of school and get busy re-organizing. YIKES!!!

The other cool thing about this year is for the first time in my whole teaching career I don't feel the need to be the best or have my hands in every facet of the school. Let me rephrase that, I feel the need to be the very best teacher for my students, but as for striving to be "top dog," I don't really care. In fact, I asked to be taken off a couple of committees.

My life feels complete. I have a terrific job that I love (great co-teacher, sweet students, etc.) I am starting the year healthy (50 pounds lighter!) My boyfriend is absolutely wonderful. I still love my new house (I've almost made it a whole year!) Life is good!!!!

Our First Picture

Ok, so call me a dork, but I have to post this picture of me and Josh. We went to a birthday party for a friend of his a couple of weeks ago and his friend's girlfriend was snapping pictures like crazy. This isn't necessarily the greatest picture but its our first one together. My hair never does right and of course, I have my beautiful redneck tan going on. Why do I even bother to wear sunscreen if I'm still going to have a redneck???? Anyway, thanks Crystal for taking the picture and sending it to me.

1% spandex

As I was getting dressed for work the other day, I happened to look at the tag on my shorts and noticed it said, 99% cotton, 1% spandex. What a wonderful invention that spandex! Just that 1% can often make the difference between me wearing a size 10 as opposed to a size 12. Isn't that something? I know this blog entry isn't earth-shattering but it was on my mind so I thought I'd post.

As for the size 10 versus 12... my diet/exercise regime has come to a slow standstill. I'm starting from square one on my protein diet come Monday. Wish me luck! While I haven't gained a lot of weight back, I've got to get back on track or before you know it I'll back in a 20. I haven't been running lately and as a result I feel like my muscles are turning to mush.

Tell me something...

Why is it that when I go into a store and they have the word 'Clearance' or red stickers covering the original price of an item I get excited? Is that sick or what? The scary thing is, I want to buy whatever it is because its "on sale." I was in Wal-Mart yesterday and they had wedding bubbles on clearance for like 7 dollars. Ok, I've only been dating Josh for 3 months and I don't see marriage anywhere in the future for quite some time, if at all. What the hell do I need with wedding bubbles?

Is this a woman thing or am I just insane?

Why is it so hard to look good?

You know, guys have it made. To get dressed up, they can get away with a polo and a nice pair of jeans. If they have hair, they put a little gel in it or if they're like my boyfriend, they're bald, no big deal. Girls... its a different story. I love my hair but lets face it, its a mess unless I have it in a clip. It doesn't matter if I use a Chi to straighten it, its all over my head! What's the point? I bought this cute purple top (the one in the picture of me and Jes) for like $6. I was so proud of it. My cleavage looked great except for the fact that my bra kept popping up! So, in every picture you see a hint of black. I felt like someone was playing tug-of-war with my body. My jeans were low-rise so I wore a thong. (sorry, don't visualize.) Whoever made those things had to be some sadistic wierdo! So, as I was saying, tug-of-war. My neck was being pulled by the tie up sash on the cute shirt and the thong was pulling from the other end. I could NOT wait to go home and change. Let's face it, I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of chick. Thank God my boyfriend likes that way. I guess that's why we get along!

I'm supposed to be...

I should be doing something productive like preparing for my class that is tomorrow night but instead I am in front of the computer. Oh well, It'll all get done. So, a group of friends went out last night for Staci's birthday. We had a nice time. A friend of ours from high school was playing at a local restaurant so we went and listened to him. I thought I'd post this picture of me and Jes. I really liked it.

I have to say we look pretty hot. Things really do get better with age, lol! Jes is preparing for a half marathon! Can you believe it? My hat is off to her. I'm still working on the art of perfecting the 5k. I have absolutely NO desire to run any farther than 3.1 miles unless I am being chased by the cops or an alligator.

All I Want To Do...

I LOVE this new song by Sugarland.

A Trip to the Marine Lab

I took Thomas to the Marine Lab a few weeks ago. Here are some photos. Thomas is the cutest thing ever. He's wearing a 3T top, 2T bottom and size 9 shoes! He has an amazing vocabulary and memory. We have to watch our language these days! His smile brightens up the room. I still can't figure out who he looks like. There are days when I see only Eric, but then I see Molly too. He's quite sensitive like me. I guess he's just got a little bit of everybody in him. Anyway, enjoy the pics!

My Grandma T.

My aunt and I were having one of our deep discussions over 4th of July vacation. We were talking about my Grandma and what a strong vibrant woman she was. She had a strong southern accent with a 6th grade education but to me she is the wisest woman you will ever meet. I walked by someone the other day and smelled the slight scent of Railroad Mill snuff and it reminded me of my Grandma. Yes, she dipped but lord was she clean about it. You never saw this woman without two or three kleenexes, Bounty papertowels and a styrofoam cup. I don't need to explain what they were used for.

Anyway, my aunt and I were talking about the past and she reminded me of something Grandma used to preach to us. She'd say, "Never depend on a man and never wear cheap shoes or bras!" Gosh, I sure do miss that woman! So far, I think we've made her very proud.

Hopes and Dreams

My friend Amber is reading a book called "The Last Lecture." Its written by a guy who is dying from cancer. In the book the guy writes short messages to his children about life. Amber says its really inspiring and everyone should read it. One of the lessons the author writes about is encouraging your children to share their dreams for the future while they are still children. Amber said it really hit home for her and that she doesn't remember having any dreams for the future as a young child. She said this is one thing she wants for her children.

Thinking back to my childhood I'm not really sure I had big plans for the future. I remember my parents telling me I could be anything I wanted to be as I long as I got an education. When I was four, I remember wanting to be a nurse, teacher and a country music singer. Obviously, I chose teaching. Which is a good thing because I get nauseated at the sight of blood and I can't follow a beat to save my life! You know, I'm grateful to my parents for instilling in me the value of an education. Neither one of my parents have college degrees. My daddy didn't even have a high school diploma. (Please don't misunderstand me. I believe my parents were wise and wonderful parents.) My point is that they both wanted better for me and my sister. (again, I feel the need to explain... my parents provided Molly and I with the best of everything. We were poor but didn't even know it. I just think my parents didn't have a chance to fulfill their dreams because they worked so hard for us.)

Perhaps I'm rambling, but I'm not so sure that having a college education is the key to happiness. I think its more important to have a plan and do what makes you happy. I was fortunate to know at an early age what I wanted to be. Some people don't always know what they want to be when they grow up.

Anyway, to sum up this entry, I guess what I'm getting at is this... its important to talk with kids about the future. Encourage and build them up so that when they do decide what they want to be/do they have the self-confidence to do so. For that I am eternally grateful to my mom and dad!

I'm Back!!!

I had the most relaxing, wonderful time in West Virginia. When Maggie first moved back home I worried that we wouldn't remain friends. If anything, I think our friendship is stronger. Its funny how when we get together we just pick up where we left off. Monday, we took Luc to the baby pool at the city park. We both just started laughing when I asked, "Did you ever imagine 2 years ago that we'd be sitting in a baby pool?" Our lives have definitely slowed down. I have to say it is all for the better.

Stealing a Quote...

I've been doing some major plagerism here lately. Actually, I don't think its considered plagerism if you cite where you got it from. So, I saw this quote on my friend's blog: "Sometimes blind faith is all that's left to hold on to." That's so me these days. This "whole dating relationship thingy" has lasted 8 weeks! The wonderful thing is, I really like this guy. The scary thing is the unknown. I worry way too much. I seriously need to enjoy things for what they are and stop overanalyzing things because in all honesty, this has been the best 8 weeks of my life so far. So... if things don't work out, at least I've had 8 wonderful weeks with someone as opposed to being alone. Why do things have to be so darn complicated?

The Giving Tree

So over the 4th my aunt took me to Lou Gardens. What a beautiful place! She had a tree planted there in memory of my grandparents, daddy and uncle. I can't think of a better way to remember such wonderful people.

I'm On My Way...

to the great state of West Virginia! I'm leaving for Altamonte Springs today to visit with my aunt and uncle. They are gracious enough to take me to the airport in Sanford on Saturday where I'll be flying to West Virginia to visit my very dear friend Maggie and her family. I'm so excited to meet her baby boy, Luc. He was born in December and I have yet to meet him! Besides the great state of Florida I can't think of another place I'd consider living other than West Virginia. Its so green there, the people are friendly and they have great sales on clothes! Maggie and her husband L.R. bought me a plane ticket for my birthday to come visit. I can't wait to see everybody. So, I'll be putting the blogging on hold for a while. Talk to you in a week!

I Tip My Hat Off...

I am sick! As I've mentioned before, on a daily basis, I have terrible post nasal drip, to the point that I am nauseated. Here lately, not only am I am nauseated but I get extremely dizzy as well. Not ditsy, as my step-dad would say, I'm always ditsy, lol! So, I went to the doctor two weeks ago and he gave me Allegra-D for the dizziness. He says there's fluid behind my ears which is causing the dizziness. I took the Allegra-D for 10 days only to start coughing like I'd been chain-smoking for the past 20 years the other night. I also sound like a man I'm so hoarse. Fortunately, I'm not so dizzy or nauseated but I'm terribly congested to the point that I cough and can't catch my breath. (talk about some scary shit, pardon my language, but not being able to breathe is really frightening!) So, today, I went back to the doctor and he prescribed a steroid and some antibiotics. He also told me to take Mucinex. He thinks its a sinus infection and a little bronchitis. How the hell you can have a little bronchitis is beyond me but that's what he said! After the doctor's appointment I dropped my car off at Firestone to have the tires rotated and an alignment done. While I waited, I decided I'd go across the street to Target and have my prescriptions filled. Sometimes, I swear I have no depth perception. I also didn't realize just how sick I was until I made it across Apalachee Parkway. I hate those crosswalk thingies. It turned red halfway across so I had to run! By the time I got to Target, (which when one is walking, IS NOT just across the street!) I was so winded. My point to this entry is not to feel sorry for me. Its to say I have more empathy for people with asthma and other lung-related problems.

John Deere Green

I'm not sure where this new fascination has come from but here lately I've been intrigued by big tractors and front end loaders. Perhaps its me being a pre-k teacher or having a 16 month old nephew who is ALL BOY! Who knows, I have been known to line up ketchup packets at the MacDonalds so it could be a slight case of autism, lol! No offense to anyone with a kiddo who has autism. Anyway, my friend Amber's son has two or three miniature John Deere tractors that I think are so cute. Then I found John Deere story books at Borders. Best of all, I was shopping the other day and found pink and green John Deere shirts for girls! Those of you who know me, know I've lived a sheltered life and I'm not much for the outdoors but here lately all that has seemed to change. Its funny what love will do for a girl. Oh, I digressed... so all this John Deere stuff made me think about the song by Joe Diffie, "John Deere Green." It was popular when I was high school. I used to drive my friends crazy playing the cassette over and over again. I just loved it.

No Xanax Needed!

We went to my parents' house last night so that my mom could meet Josh. It was successful. Thomas was there and stole Josh's attention. I think that earned him a ton of brownie points. Molly and Eric arrived about the same time we did to pick Thomas up so that lightened the mood as well. I called my mom this morning and asked her what she thought and she gave me her approval. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my chest. Truthfully, I couldn't think of a reason why my mom wouldn't like him but it takes alot to impress to Ms. Agnes! I know I'm 32 years old but I still need and value my mother's approval.

Life in a Small Town

So I had a great weekend. I met Josh's friends, went bowling and to "the river." I'm learning that when I'm with someone I trust I actually enjoy the great outdoors. I'm even thinking about taking a hunter's safety course. I have to admit, I did have to drink a couple of beers after getting to the river. Lord, that was scary. The roads were very bumpy and there were places where you had to put the truck in 1st or 2nd gear to get through. I also saw six baby alligators. Fortunately, the mamma was not in sight!

I was so nervous about meeting his friends, but I did like my friend Amber told me to do and just smiled pretty and nodded alot. I did pretty good with holding conversations but I didn't know the people that well so it was a big deal for the Princess of Anxietyland. I was invited back over and Josh said they liked me so I guess I'm ok.

On Sunday, Josh and I went to Zaxby's for lunch. My cell phone rang and I answered it. It was my step-dad. He said, "I know where you are." He of all people, was in the drive-through at Zaxby's. The funny thing is, my parents live 27 miles from Zaxby's so what are the chances that he would be driving by? (He was on his way from fishing.) So, I told him to park and meet Josh. He did. Then he raced home to tell my mamma that he got to meet him! My mamma, then proceeded to call my sister and inform her that Gene met JOsh before she did! She wasn't very happy about that. So, I guess on Wednesday, Josh and I will be driving to my parents house so my mamma can meet him. Pray for us! LOL!!! I'm thinkin' I'm going to need more than two beers for this one.

Wearing My Feelings On My Sleeves

I was raised to believe that crying is a sign of weakness. I'm ashamed to admit that I've paid hundreds of dollars going to therapy and trying medication to help me NOT to cry. I've finally come to conclusion that crying is just who I am and it doesn't make me any weaker than the next. Some of it is hormonal (thank God for Yaz!) and some it stems from my temperament, me being me. While I don't do it as often as I use to, when I do cry, there's still that little part of me that feels embarrassed. I'm not sure why but I do. I haven't cried in front of Josh yet, but I'm sure its coming. (I especially cry when I feel vulnerable, overly anxious, or think that I've made someone I care about angry. Geez, talk about sharing one's dirty secrets online, lol!) I think that's part of the reason I don't talk about "serious" issues just yet. We have a great time together but sometimes I think I hold back a little bit too much for fear of scaring him off. Its only been 6 weeks but still. I guess when the timing is right I'll know when I can be more personal. He obviously likes me or he wouldn't have introduced me to his friends. He also talks about his future plans, that's a good thing I think. (He even mentioned what all we could do come hunting season. Wow! Talk about longterm!)

I wish there was a good book about guys... especially guys from highway 20. For those of you who aren't familiar with highway 20, lets just say its the country. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying people from 20 are simple. Josh is very wise for his age. Wiser than me in some aspects of life.

I guess its just different for guys. He's not going to be the type to tell me I'm beautiful all the time or send me flowers, but he is the type that opens doors for me, checks my oil and offers me a seat when there's only one chair. To me, the latter is more important. I need to know that I'm with a man that I can depend on. So far from what I've seen, Josh is like that. If he says he's going to call, he does. His mood seems to be pretty even keel too. Which is really good for this high strung ESE teacher who worries way too much about nothing.

So my point about the book... I just want to do the right thing, say the right thing and make this relationship work. If anybody knows about a good book, let me know. Or, life experiences are also very helpful.

I'm Hooked

Has anybody ever heard of Brighton jewelry? Well, unfortunately I have and I'm addicted to the stuff. I bought my first piece when I bought my house. I bought a keychain off a ebay for my new key to my new house. I know, I'm a dork, so sue me? The other day I was in a store out of town and bought a pair of Brighton earrings. Talk about C-U-T-E! I made the mistake of taking a catalog to look at. I don't think we have a shop nearby that sells Brighton. While looking through the catalog I found a charm bracelet that I fell in love with. Its one of those that you add charms for special times in your life and or just because. Fortunately, I found one on ebay and bought it. Then I realized that duh, I need charms! I guess that will be a life long process. So, $50 later, I have a charm bracelet, one charm and two spacers. Not too shabby for Brighton but I really need to get a grip!

Oh The Joys of Looking Beautiful!

So, I went to a new dermatologist regarding my vitiligo for a second opinion. In case I haven't already written about it, its an autoimmune thing that attacks a person's skin therefore taking away one's skin pigment. It was comforting and a bit disheartening at the same time. The doctor was a bit humerous and laughed when she asked me why I was there for vitiligo. She said that I was lucky because mine is barely noticeable thanks to my milky white complexion. I told her I wanted something to keep it from spreading. So, $65 later, she sent me home with two creams that I am to use twice daily. She also recommended some sun therapy 10 minutes a day followed by sun screen. In my line of work, the sun therapy is just not gonna happen. I have to put sun screen on first thing in the morning and I'm outside at least 2 hours a day. In this heat, there's no way in hell I'm wearing long sleeves and baggy pants! So, basically its the creams for the next 3 months. After 3 months, if the creams don't work, she says I can try skin grafting. I've decided that if the creams don't work, the creams just don't work. There's not going to be any grafting. I'm fortunate that its only cosmetic. It doesn't cause cancer. I'm not itching or in pain so there's not going to be any grafting!

On the down side, she said that since I've had it for so long (13 years) there's not a good chance that the creams will work. On a positive note she ran a florescent light over my body and there's not that much of it on my face. Which means the creams just might keep it from spreading. Since its summer, I feel like its more noticeable. I think I look like an overweight giraffe but you can't tell in pictures so its just me who notices. Either way, I'll be ok. I'm thankful to have my Grandma T.'s porcelain skin. She too had vitiligo and by the time she was older you couldn't tell she had it. She just looked fair skinned.

The dermatologist sent me with this brochure to order this stuff called vitiligo dye. You put it on the spot where there's no pigment and it basically temporarily dyes your skin. Kind of like tan in a can. So, I'm a sucker for stuff like that and guess what? I bought some. I put it on and by 2pm I was looking great. You couldn't tell I had vitiligo. Yeah, well by 5pm, on my way to meet my boyfriend I look down and notice I have orange circles where I have applied the dye! Yep, both knees and elbows. He didn't notice or if he did, he was smart enough not to say. Talk about being mortified!?! See what I mean about keeping humble? I don't have low self-esteem, I just know better than to get too confident cause when I do, I end up with orange spots!

Berry Sweet!

Make a Smilebox photobook

Holy Cow, I Freakin' Did It!

I weighed in today and guess what?!? I made my goal!!!! Since December 31st, 2007, I have lost a total of 51 pounds! Is that crazy or what? I can barely lift 50 pounds, how in the world did I possibly carry it around?

I am sooooo thankful. I am grateful to my family and friends who have encouraged me. I am proud of myself for having the willpower to lose it. I am thankful to God for giving me the financial resources, healthy spirit and body to make my goal.

So, the BMI charts say that for my height I need to weigh around 145. I think for a while though, I'm going to work hard at maintaining where I'm at and then work on losing those last 13 pounds. I feel terrific so that's pretty much what matters.

Me and My Little Man!

I probably shouldn't even post this one but its just so funny. We went swimming a couple of weeks ago and Molly took this picture of me holding Thomas. I thought the kid loved me. This is the best we could get. I sure hope I don't have this effect on my big man,lol!

Priceless

We had a nice Father's Day dinner. The guys did not want to get dressed up so we grilled out at Molly and Eric's. The meal was delicious and the company wasn't bad either. Its nice that family can get together and have a good time. It was storming today and when it does my dog goes spatic. Molly and Eric were kind enough to let Missy come over too. My sister took a ton a pictures. Enjoy!!!